Confessions Of A Disillusioned Artist

2007-01-24T00:19:00.000+08:00

friend: hi gal, how are you?

me: (pleasantly surprised to hear from a friend) hey, what a surprise. i'm fine, and u?

friend: i'm doing gd gal. anyway, i wanted to ask if u wld be willing to buy a donation booklet from me. it's only 10 bucks and i'm sure it's nothing to you, so cld u do me a favour? / i'm dancing for this competition, cld u gather a few friends and get tickets to support me? / hey, it's my gf or bf's birthday,can u help me design a card and make a nice present for me / it's our 1st yr aniversary, can u give me ideas on what to do etc..

me: erm, ya ok. i'll let you know abt it soon.

friend: ok, thanks gal. that's why i called.

OR

friend: hey xyz, meet my friend sajeetha.

me: hi, nice to meet you.

xyz: hello, nice to meet you too.

friend: eh, u remember i told u i had a friend whose father has a brazilian restaurant? this is the one la.

xyz: oh, this one ah? wah, he told me all abt you yada, yada, yada.

me: oh, cut the crap!
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i hate it. i hate the fact a simple call had a hidden agenda behind it. some sad cases wld include, as mentioned earlier, buying something form somebody, making something for someone's partner, borrowing my ideas, shoes, clothes, bags and what not but most of the times,when it has something to do with buying (involving money) cos apparently i was known to be the one who cld afford cos the dad works in 'the singapore mint'. oh and the disgusting ones wld be getting me to introduce some hot friend of mine or even worse, my sister. geez! and when i can't and won't comply, i'm almost as good as dead.

all my life, this was how i was treated. thankfully, not by all but by some i had deemed to be my true friends. i was important only because i cld provide or be of use to somebody or simply because my name had a status attached to it; the girl whose dad owned the popular brazilian restaurant off 6th avenue.

this brings me to my next question; if i was never the girl whose father owned a restaurant, if i was nvr the girl whose father drove a lexus, if i was nvr the girl who lived in a condo, if i was nvr the girl who had those hot friends or the pretty sister, if i was nvr the girl who lived the life that many envied, would they still then be proud to associate themselves with me for the simple fact that i was a nice girl with a good heart? would they then be friend for all that i wasn't?

my answer: i don't really know.

i remember a conversation with a friend on my birthday last year. right after his birthday greetings, he went on to ask if my father was going to get me a jet plane or a sports car as my birthday gift. i said neither and went on to say, why not since i was SO rich. at this point in time, i need to get some things straight! who in the blue world decided that i was SO rich? what do you mean by SO rich anyway? are u my personal accountant? so under what grounds do u declare that i am SO rich?! it cld have been a joke, but i was rather annoyed at the tone the msg was conveyed. these pple make it seem so easy but they had no idea and i mean, ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA just how hard my dad works to give us the best. he's certainly not one of those arses out there who simply inherit millions of dollars from their fathers or forefather, sit at home, shaking legs and clinking wine glasses while spending like a duke! he works day and night, slogs even harder than a automated machine just to pay the bills and all other expenses that comes together with living an above-average lifestyle. probably that's his idea of best so he tries with all his might to make ends meet so that he cld provide his family with only the best.

it's NOT easy and it NEVER was and neither is it going to be so don't make it seem like it is cos if it was then everyone of us out there would be living like kings and queens, won't we? but that's not the case, is it?

to all those assholes whom i refuse to buy a donation booklet from, to those misers who expect me to pay first for lunch or dinner because you hadn't withdrawn ur cash from thr atm and then conveniently forget to pay me back because you think a meagre ten or twenty dollars would not make a difference to me cos i was SO rich and when i do ask you back for the money, you call me a stingy bitch i'll personally slap your face. if it was that meagre, why don't you just pay for it then? or why don't we do that to you and see if u feel the same way still. the money's not even mine to begin with, it's my dad's, his hard earned money and it's not within my discretion to spend it as i wish . it's entirely up to him to decide on he thinks we are supposed to spend it and i reserve ALL the rights to help him save.. for those of you who have a problem, you can f*** off. i wouldn't care less.

(someone, anyone has anniyan's hotline? i need to inform him of the atrocities that's happening around me?)

you know how during spring cleaning, some of us discard our old clothes that just don't fit us well anymore, books that have turned yellowish over the years, furniture which are falling apart, things that we have grown uncomfortable or uneasy with and replace them with things that might be of better use? well,that's exactly what i've been doing. spring cleaning; discarding people whom i've become uncomfortable with, people who make me feel uneasy with their presence, those with false pretense or superficial ideas.. they have to go... i'm sure they'll be no regrets.

i spoke to dad abt my feelings on this issue. dad thinks i'm growing up and that i'm not naive as i used to be anymore. he's glad that i'm now able to spot a wolf in sheep's clothing all by myself without him having to come to my rescue all the time. as for me, i've learnt there's still so much more to learn in life and that as you grow up, you come to terms that from a huge group of friends you'll only be left with a handful but those who'll stay by your side,not for all that you are but for all that you are not.

i've learnt that the hard way.

for now, i'm contented with having my amazing family and a few loved ones by my side to help me preserve my sanity and keep my feet planted firmly to the ground..

love; sajeetha

2007-01-21T12:05:00.000+08:00

i am completely exhausted yet i feel revived. and u don't get me.
i just came back home after my first yoga and bollywood fusion dance classes, which i'm completely in love with!

anitha's friend was a fitness consultant at 'true yoga' and had given her an complimentary session to try out any of the classes available at their centre, together with a friend. and as u know, complimentary means free and anything free, we grab! haha. besides, senthil is working in 'true yoga' too but at the UOB centre while we were given complimentary passes at the outlet in pacific plaza and he too has mentioned some great yoga/dace classes being offered at his workplace. so,this was definitely something i was going to go for. recommendations had been great so far and like i mentioned earlier, it was free. i'm going to enjoy it for a day and come straight back home without being brainwashed by the consultants to become a member/sign up for a package etc.

at least, that was the plan la. when i went there, i was awed by the whole atmosphere. it was so damn posh and i loved the studios! the yoga class was so calming, i thought i had transited from earth to heaven (no joke, it's REALLY that soothing) and the bollywood fusion dance class just got me shaking my thang like i was dancing for some hindi movie. the steps were vigorous, complicated and challenging but it made mastering the art of bollywood dancing this much more fun! in less than 15 min, i was sweating like a pig and boy, did that feel good!

i was loving it! and guess what? the consultants didn't even need to coerce me into buying their package. i was already smitten by the dance teacher and his groovy moves! i was definitely signing up for this menbership. what better way to shed those kilos than dancing them off eh? the packages were all pricey though, so i had to come back home to discuss it with mum and dad, which i did. and guess what? mum's willing to 'sponsor' $159 each month just for me! she rocks! heh.

now, the next question is - whose gonna join me?! that's when i remembered how reshma and i used to sign up for stuffs like these together. i remember our 'california fitness' days and our 'amore dance aerobics' times.. money was never a problem to us as long as we were together, having fun. she was someone, i knew, who'd always be willing to go the extra mile for me and she knew i wld too. at times like this, i missed her very much. i hate the nostalgia that sweeps across me each time i think abt her, abt us and our broken friendship.

but there was thing for sure, noone cld take her place in this life-time. i have a best friend. and it can only be reshma, whether i like it or not...

2007-01-18T23:01:00.000+08:00

i just read lynn's blog abt judging people and how wrong we can be. i too, have victimized many due to my pre-assumptions a time too many. most of the time, i never try and get to know their side of story/ or them before passing a judgment (which is pretty fine by me) and ostracize them upon first impressions. it never bothers me, cos i never wanted to be their friend anyway. and that was how it usually was until a few days ago. until thursday, that is.

some of my friends would know the history this particular indian girl in my lecture & i share. we go waayy back to poly days, had our fair share of arguments and bitterful verbal exchange which eventually led to a soured friendship. we weren't exactly the best of friends but friends enough to have a decent 10 min chat. but all these were thrown out of the window for some reason ( i shall not get down to the nitty-gritty details cos it'll take forever) and we've been 'enemies' ever since then. well, u cld imagine the horror when i saw her in SIM on the first day of orientation. we were in the same school, taking the same course and unfortunately, in the same class too.

3 semesters had passed with the both of us ignoring our presence in school, pretending one didn't exist and if by coincidence our eyes met or our paths crossed, we simply treated each other as invisible. life was easier that way. looking at her or even smiling brought abt too much of painful memories. until last semester, when i received an apology mail in friendster. i have to admit, i was rather taken aback at her humble gesture. after some thought, i decided to let go of my ego and reconcile with her. afterall, the person we had quarreled over was no longer existent in neither my life nor hers, thus it didn't make sense to bear grudges even after all these time.

so the last semester was spent giving polite nods of acknowledgement or subtle smiles, simple conversations over msn and that was abt all i was willing to give the friendship. i really didn't want to have anything much to do with her. besides, they say 'once bitten, twice shy'. but everything changed when we decided to meet up on thursday for lunch.

who wld have thought we'd have that much of fun together. holding a conversation was a breeze, shopping was needless to say but i swear it was the photo taking sessions that really broke the ice. i truly had fun on thursday and a part of me was glad that i actually took the step to get to know her better cos on any given normal day, i wld not have. i admit to being as stubborn as a mule and forgiveness are hardly in my dictionary but this one time, i tried and reaped fruitful results. i might just do it again.

the moral of my story? different circumstances shape a person's behaviour and actions and this might not necessarily remain the same all the time. afterall, we're humans and humans, are not perfect. so the next time you decide to be too judgmental, just give it a little thought. they might not be as bad after all, while in other cases, a person you thought was sucha a gem may prove you oh-so-wrong (recently, this has been the case in my life) and when that happens, you know what to do; STAY AWAY, STAY CLEAR OF THEIR PATHS! that's exactly what i've been doing..

2007-01-16T11:37:00.000+08:00

Life sometimes gets so bogged down in the details, we forget we are living it.
There is always another appointment to be met, another bill to be paid, another symptom presenting, another uneventful day to be notched into the wooden wall..

2007-01-15T18:30:00.000+08:00

14.01.07

i've finally hit the one year mark with the boyfriend! woo-hoo! some of my friends thought for someone who had been in a 5 yr relationship, i was being overly excited over my first yr anniversary. well, that's exactly what i had thought too but when it happened,you just know that every relationship is new, every relationship is different and every relationship is entitled to its own form of joy and happiness. so is mine.

that evening was everything i had imagined it to be. for a split second, i thought i was living a fairytale, as a princess. that evening also taught me how it all makes sense when someone tells you they keep falling in love with the same old person, over and over again. i used to think it was absurd and all too syrupy and lovesick but now that i've felt it myself, i can only nod in agreement as i hear such statements.

sometimes, i've felt that my r'ship is not going anywhere and other times, where we wound up was awful and yet i wouldn't have traded those times for the world. when you don't know where you're going, you end up finding places noone else would ever think to explore. i guess that's what my r'ship is all about. i do not know if we'll make it to the marriage altar but i'm going to continue to explore..

we have synchronized our watches, studied our calenders, existed in minutes and completely forgotten to step back and see what we have accomplished - a beautiful relationship that only we can share, despite all that comes our way....

2007-01-15T18:17:00.000+08:00

- it's very evident isn't it? love indeed, drives one mad! heh -

2007-01-15T18:05:00.000+08:00

love is in the air....

2007-01-15T18:04:00.000+08:00

- the dinner at shangri-la; the sunflowers; the love -

2007-01-15T11:32:00.000+08:00

so i promised updates on the holidays but if i really do, it would stretch up to a couple of entries and i'm really not up to it so i'll summarise whatever i can; holiday was spent catching up with alot of friends over lunches and dinner, pure slacking and hanging out, meeting one or two cousins over dessert, ice-skating, rock-climbing, shopping, movies and the usual things you end up doing with friends and a week's stay at the westin in kuala lumpur with the family for pure shopping indulgence. i guess that kinda sums it all up cos i've really lost count of all that i've done during the past two months!

rest assured, pictures will be posted up. really soon, i hope.

it's been a week since school reopened. nothing much has changed, the lecture mates, they all look the same. nothing drastically or shockingly different. lectures have been a bore, none of the lecturer possess even an ounce of humour and the modules are seemingly tough. talk abt wanting to pass the last semsester's exams with flying colours. tsk, tsk. other than that school's pretty light, lessons are only thrice a week (mondays, tuesdays & wednesdays) which means i have a pretty long weekend! yay!

i have also made it a point this year to reduce my tuition commitments by half. i had 5 tuition kids and now i've only 2 and i'm ecstatic abt the amount of free time i'm gonna have but that isn't gonna be spent on social outings. the resolution is to get productive and indulge in activities that'll do me some good like yoga, salsa (yes, i'm still finding someone who'll do it with me) and other form of sports. stuff like shopping, dinner dates with friends and casual hanging out are gonna be put on hold. those are reserved only for the holidays and besides, i told myself i need to start saving up some money for the future. lavish spending is not going to be on the list for a while. so friends who are reading this entry, i'm sorry but the next time you'll be seeing me is during the next semester break. my time is going to be spent on achieving good grades in school and looking after my health and body.

the health's been on a plunge the past 3 weeks. i've been having severe breathing difficulties and have been in and out of hospitals for a good 4 times now. none of the doctors can put their finger to my diagnosis but i've been asked to lose a hefty 6-7kg before they perform any sort of scan/x-ray on me. doctors suggests it cld be due to me being over-weight (but that's entirely after mum's instigation on that point) and if the breathing condition doesn't improve even after the weight loss, then maybe something might be wrong with me. i've been scared lately, scared of dying. i know i'm paranoid but i can't help but wonder if i've got some disease that's gonna kill me. sigh. this fear is crippling me from living my life normally. i've even put gym on hold cos i'm afraid to exert any form of exhaustion on myself. argh! i need to get better!

on a brighter note, i have just sucessfully completed one of my new year resolutions. yes ladies and gentlemen, i have finally passed my driving test!!! i am a certified driver as of friday and i can never be happier. a hunt for the perfect car is in progress and before you know it, i'll be dropping you guys off to your doorsteps. i'm ecstatic!! and so proud of myself! yay! yay! yay!

with this happy note, i shall finish up this entry. gotta rush for tuition now,am so late. will update again when time permits. ta!

2007-01-04T12:12:00.000+08:00

and so i'm here after a long hiatus. what better way to start the new year then blogging eh? have i mentioned, that in my never-ending list of new year resolutions, prompt updating of blog entries have topped the list? haha.

first things first - happy new year everyone! here's a toast to yet another round of 365 days! cheers!

so much has happened in this holidays; lots of going out and catching up that i can't even remember most of them now but they were all worthwhile. i see that i last stopped my entry towards the last days of november. this means i have got a whole month of updating to do, which i just might but maybe not now. later, bit by bit, segmented into several entries.

the last week of november was spent rock climbing with lynette, which was an exhilarating experience if i say so myself. the surprising part abt this whole adventure was the fact that i loved it and was actually looking forward to more of such climbing sessions. i was never a sporty person tho i have been a school netballer ever since i was primary 4. that was abt the only sport i thought i was good at and had a knack for. netball gave me this adrenaline rush that no other sport had to offer and it gave me this sense of satisfaction i've nvr felt before but that too was short lived. i never continued with it in poly except for the occasional games we played during inter-class matches or for ics.

then i started growing up, and like any other teen/pre-adult i was self-concious abt my size and stopped getting myself involved in any type of sports altogether. being big, i always had to wonder what people will say abt my thighs if i wore shorts, what they'll say abt my fat arms or my bulging tummy or even my breasts when i jump. it was too torturous to even imagine. so, the easiest way out was simply to draw myself back and do what i just do best; be a normal, typical girl.

yes, there have been pangs of wanting to run, scream and play ball and win but my inferiority complex got the better of me and i quietly walked away from all that i loved. i had a low-self esteem though i had refused to admit it. who does, anyway?

but all that came to an end and got thrown away after my break-up with senthil. the break-up had caused me to lose a good 8kg without any effort on my part; i thought i ate normal and dined normal but somehow nothing seemed to stay in the body. i simply kept on losing the kilos and before i knew it, people who hardly noticed me started asking me if i had lost wieght. random aquaintances paid compliments and yes, for awhile i was concurrently seeing 4 men. well, not dating all 4 of them at the same time, but i had the choice to pick one out of the 4 in the course of getting to know them all. and none of them, i had gone after. that sure feels good.

in spite of the new found attention, nothing was allowed to get to my head. my feet was rooted firmly to the ground and i insisted, i was going to be the same old me, safeguarding the same old principles. although, the attention was overwhelming and choosing the most good looking one was at one point of time the priority, i still sat back to give it a thought and ended up choosing the one who'd been there with me throughout the times when i had been a fat, not-at-all good looking ugly duckling. the one who was attracted me even before what i was now. no prizes for guessing who though. yes, it's the very same person i am with now.

and that's when i realised that size really does not matter. it's really not abt what u are but who u were inside and that people can still love/like you regardless of the shape u came in. and this was the turning point in my life; in my outlook of the activities i got myself involved in.

this simple lesson shaped who i am now. i have, since my break up (which marks my 2nd yr, this 2007) have put on some of the weight i had shed earlier but that doesn't stop me from living my life. these days, i exercise on a regular basis, attempt to eat healthy and indulge in the finer things in life. i hit the gym, i run, i kayak, i rock-climb, i ice-skate, i bowl, i skip, i dance and none of these are done in the attempt to lose weight or look good but only because it makes me feel healthy and makes me feel good. no more low-self esteem, no more inferiority complex (yes, i admit to being a little self-concious every now and then but then again, i'm a girl and we all do allow ourselves to succumb to such thoughts every once in a while. i'm guessing that shld be fine).

if u ask me how 2006 has impacted my life, i'll tell you that it has taught me to beome a better, confident, bright young woman. and i have never been more proud. but before u think i've done it all by myself, i need to let you know that there was no way i cld have done it alone. i needed my pillars of support;

vicky - for always paying me compliments when she thinks i deserve it, for accompanying me to the gym almost every single day, for waking me up early in the morning so that i can be allowed to be dragged to macritchie for a run and for always being there as an inspiration.

lynette - for telling me that size was never a barrier to do what you love, for always being brutally honest with her opinions and views when asked, for dragging me along to some of the things i never thought i would have bothered to try (eg; kayaking, rock-climbing etc), for being the responsible one who messages everyone asking them to be in their sports attire so that we cld hop over to ngee ann poly for a run after lessons, for always taking the time and initiative in organising eventful activities for us to be involved in, for always helping us learn something new, for repeatedly telling us how much of calories we are consuming each time we eat something sinful (that cld be a pain at times though but the guilt treatment works. hah) and for teaching us to share our food. you're loved woman!

guna - for never asking me to lose weight and if i said i wanted to, for saying it should only be related to health and not something superficial like looking sexy/beautiful/pretty/etc, for always being supportive and never doubting my efforts or intentions, for loving me for who i am and not the outlook and above all, for just allowing myself to be me.

senthil - for asking me out for jogs, for advising me on how to lose weight in an efficient manner, for paying relevant compliments if slight weight loss was noticed and for being my new-found best friend. whoever said, ex boyfriends are jerks?! i guess i'm one lucky girl.

my parents - dad, for his constructive criticisms tho they hurt at times but i know he was doing it in the name of love and mum, for accompanying me to the gym, for incorporating fruits and vegetables into my diet tho i used to show faces at her for torturing me, for skipping dinner together with me so that i'll not be the only one at home starving ; i love them!

it's not like i have lost 20kg or something for me to give out sucha a speech but i believe i'm come a long way from what i was a good 2 years ago and like i mentioned earlier, i'm proud of myself. there's a long way to go, i know but the baby steps should always be encouraged, shouldn't they? so, thank you guys for helping me be who i am. couldn't have done it without you guys and for those i've not mentioned, it doesn't mean ur little advices and encouragements are not treasured. they truly are.

- muacks -

2006-12-04T22:21:00.000+08:00

thursday 23.11.06

right, i met khomala for lunch on thursday. for those of you who know of my history with her wld be wondering what in the blue world i was doing with her so here's a little explanation. you know abt that idiot whom i kept complaning was trying to be me? well, she added khomala (khomi) on her friendster list as well (knowing that khomala was my friend). so when i saw her on khomi's page i sms-ed khomi to ask how she'd had known that rat. khomi called back to tell me that the rat has used my name to get herself added onto my friends list. like - hey, i guess u are sajeetha's friend. i'm know her too. anyway, u look really nice in that pic. wld u like to add me?' yep.

so khomi and i got talking abt retna the rat and the conversation then turned to our personal lives and undoubtedly guna got mentioned in the convo simply becos khomi had once had a HUGE thing for him and she had even considered them dating though i really cannot understand why guna begs to differ. oh well, let's put tt aside. anyway, eversince then khomi tho outwardly had not been a bitch to me still kinda 'spoke' abt me behind my back and of course, we have mutual friends who tell me abt it. i just never let it get to me and simply shrug it off. but i always kept my distance cos you never know when pple might just turn against you. we simply say his and byes tho sometimes she does seem a little over friendly. i guess we both know that there is some sorta unspoken animosity btw us but neither one of us ever wanted to speak up.

until that day, when i said she called to talk abt retna the rat. she started rattling on abt how she was supposed to be pissed with me cos guna chose me over her and how i dun actually need to lose any more weight since i was one of the 'BIG/FAT' people who can carry it off being like that. ok, now was that supposed to be a compliment?! anyway, she said she wanted to end this supposed rumours that pple are spreading and wanted to make things right. so obviously, i, being the nice person said yes but more because i had no plans for that day. haha.

lunch was at 'annalakshmi' and then we went to vivo city. yes, again. that place is becoming overrated these days. anyway, we went to vivocity, walked ard, had fondue at swensens and actually spoke abt stuff. just when i thought i was having fun with her, she had to say one of the unbearable thing to me - eh gal, i am actually kinda surprised that guna and u actually lasted for so long cos i was only giving you guys 5 mths and i bet u'd break up. but guess what? u're doing better than expected.

this was so hurting. i thought we were supposed to make things right btw us, so what was all these abt? argh. i really couldn't wait to go and meet teebs for dinner already. thank god i had plans reserved for the night else i really dunno what i'd do. maybe she meant it in a good way, like she was being brutally honest or something but i guess the blatancy was just too much to handle. oh well, whatever but i'm still gonna be who i am. i'm gonna ignore these crude remarks and extend my friendship since she did after all make an attempt in making things right so i shld give her that much of credit. she is my friend.

anyway, eversince thursday she has been calling me on a regular basis, and we actually have regular conversations that friends have. i hope in time, this friendship become genuine cos i hate to have enemies.

so yea, after lunch and some vivo-outing i headed to town to meet teebs. this meeting, i had been looking forward for so long.

we had like a gazillion things to catch up on and it was great talking to her. so mcuh of our lives have changed and ironically we were both in the same boat now and it was comforting to talk to someone who knew just what i was gg thru cos they had the right things to say. teebs was also like tt. before we knew it, the time was 11 and i had surpassed my curfew so we put our conversation on hold and told ourself that we'll meet again either next week or the week after next. hopefully, that'll work out cos we're both equally as busy as bees! hah.

friday 24.11.06

friday was quite a lazy day. i didn't make any plans and instead went over to anitha's place to just hang out with her. that girl is flying off to india next week so i went over to help her pack her stuff and with some other documents and papers she needed help in. apparently, she's going on a trip to help build orphanage and library for the poor kids in bangalore, india. it's a trip organised by the NIE's indian society (i think) and outsiders were also allowed to join in the trip. i was asked but i highly guessed that dad won't be all too happy abt it and subconciously i knew he was going to say 'no' so why bother asking even.

so friday was spent at her place and back home. well, i need all the rest anyway. too much of going out is tiring me out. hehe.

saturday 25.11.06

i was not supposed to have any plans on saturday but wicky boy called me out to watch a movie at the last movie. nisha and teebs were also coming along so i guess it wld be quite alright. we were supposed to catch 'dhoom 2' but the tickets were sold out and we had no choice but to settle for 'happy feet'. argh! both wicky boy and i really didn't wanna watch it but teebs and nisha were adamant that it's gonna be good so we reluctantly dragged ourselves and settled for 'happy feet'. see, i'm not really a cartoon type of person. i just don't like watching cartoons in theatres but i guess that movie was alright la. the penguins were quite cute actually. after the movie we had dinner at swensens and sorta had a belated birthday treat for wicky boy. i'm actually trying to upload pictures into my blog but the damn thing isn't working so until i get that fixed you'll probably be only seeing entries, entries and more entries.

sunday 26.11.06

i went for 'dhool' recording. for the benefits of my non-indian friends, 'dhool' is a mega indian dance competition held in conjunction with vasantham central, our tamil channel. yes, and since kamini was back in singapore and her brother had extra tickets i decided to go watch the recording for the first quarters with mum, sis, kamini, fabian, kumar and another one of their friends. i'm guessing it's gonna be telecasted on tv on the 17th so those of you who wanna catch the first episode, now you know when.

being there, in the crowd and watching the groups trying so hard to impress both the judges and audience with their creative dance steps, vibrant costumes and well thought theme/concept brought abt alot of memories. i was feeling a little nostalgic even. exactly 3 years i was in the same position as those who were then on stage, all clad in 'self-designed' costumes, trying very hard not to forget the dance steps and plastering a smile on the face just to look appealing on tv. gosh, those were some of the best moments in my life and now, 3 years later here i was as a audience instead of a performer, watching my juniors do their thing.

sometimes, i wish i was still young. wishful thinking on my part, i know. oh well, it's abt time i start embracing the present and live it to the fullest. i'm not there yet but i know i will be. it just takes time.

so that's how i spent sunday.

these are the updates for the 3rd week of november. technically, as i'm typing this entry it's alread the third day of december so i'm actually going to have to have another entry describing my last week of december but i'm going to save that for a rainy day. till then, happy holidays ya'll!

2006-11-27T22:50:00.000+08:00

- see the fat ass behind us? muahahaha -

2006-11-27T22:32:00.000+08:00

- x'mas deco in heren. look closely, you'll see both kamini's and my reflection in the middle -

2006-11-27T22:30:00.000+08:00

- kamz and me, outside TANGS. see the deco behind, they were really beautiful -

2006-11-27T22:28:00.000+08:00

- outside TANGS -

2006-11-27T22:26:00.000+08:00

- and i used photoshop to meddle with this pic and i thot it look quite alright except for the part where my teeth looks like its got gaps in btw but oh well -

2006-11-27T22:25:00.000+08:00

- the really delicious basil chicken pizza and the sinful chocolate latte with the accented aussie babe -

2006-11-27T22:23:00.000+08:00

- yea, that was how hot the pasta was. see the steam? -

2006-11-27T22:22:00.000+08:00

- the science centre exhibition with the boyfriend -

2006-11-27T22:21:00.000+08:00

- the snowy experience with the boyfriend -

2006-11-25T13:51:00.000+08:00

i'm really grumpy right now and i contemplated blogging to let off some steam! the boyfriend and i just had this really big argument with him and i am downright pissed to the extent i cld throw a chopper at him! u know what, let's not even go there!

well, i've posted up some pictures as of late. there were more but i'm just too lazy to get them all uploaded. hello's connection can be really screwed up at times.

so, what have i been up to again? hah. my blog has become like some sorta daily planner these days, where i scribble down where i went and what i did. i'm losing the ability to write abt issues which'll provoke ya thoughts or something intellectual of some sort. hmph.

anyway, i last stopped at friday (17.1106) so what was i doing that weekend and the whole of this week?

saturday (18.11.06)

well, on saturday i was at 'snow city' with the boyfriend. we had decided to get down to doing some real fun stuff this holiday and 'snow city' was one of the many things in the agenda. it was both our first time there and it was hilarious, i tell you. i hadn't expected the place to be sooooooo cold, and we actually thought our ears were gonna fall off if we didn't get out of the place soon enough. to think i had literally begged dad to bring me to switzerland for the holidays so that we can celebrate 'white xmas' this year. ooo, i'm so taking back my words! haha but it was still fun despite all that shivering. especially the snow slide; we were the very first pple to slide our way down (trust me, the ride was exhilarating for first timers) and i was screaming my lungs out. guna thought i was being an idiot but i didn't care! i was a nevous wreck. good experience nevertheless. lynette, if u haven't already been there with calvin, i suggest u guys go cos it can be fun! heh.

after that cold experience we went next door, to the science centre to relive those primary sch days. it had been a good 5-6 years since i've even walked past the science centre. i loved it and in that tiny second, i missed being a kid. guna and i took the simulator ride (which was NOT scary at all), went watch a movie at the omnimax theatre, walked over to see the 'deep sea exhibition' and some other scientific exhibits. nice, nice. i like.

so with that, the day sorta came to an end. a saturday well-spent.

sunday (19.11.06)

if u haven't already known, sundays are usually family-days. it's spent with dad, mum and sister and we have our own outings and to-do lists and this sunday was no exception. we went for a drive along changi airport, yakked non-stop in the car, had arguments over which country to visit in december and finally ended up in holland v for dinner. italian restaurant it was and yummy pasta we had! yum, yum! hehe.

i always love family outings. these 3 make up world! dad, mum and sis.

monday (20.11.06)

met kamini for dinner and shopping in far east @7pm but i was really late for i was caught in a jam and only ended up getting there at 7:40pm but she was really nice abt it! thanks babe and i'm really sorry once again.

we walked ard trying to find for shades and shoes but were not able to find once which we liked so kamini decided to settle for dinner and catching up and continue with shopping again the next day. good idea. we headed down to scotts foodcourt and had pasta and pizza from pastamania. took funny looking pictures and as usual, yakked abt stuff non-stop. yes, all my friends are as chatty as me and i thank god for that! i can't stand those bimbotic-act-cute types who nvr open their mouths and even if they do, all they talk abt is men, make-up and who's the fairest of them all. i need brains, intellectual conversations and thank god MY friends have them.

tuesday (21.11.06)

well, tuesday was not quite a fantastic day till later. see, it was my dad's heart scan in gleneagles hospital that morning. there wasn't anything explicitly wrong with his heart but his latest annual blood test results were not favourable and his doctor had recommended a heart scan just to ensure that nothing's wrong with him and that he's free of heart disease. it was advisable since he was already 50.

my dad's a diabetic. the problem with diabetics is that they never have symptoms before that have an attack. it just happens. 90% of the times, it ends up in death and as scary as it sounds the only way to know if ur heart's in good shape is to go for a CT endiogram (i dun really know how it's spelt actually) scan. iodine is injected into your veins is transported to the arteries. the arteries which are clogged with fats will have the iodine stuck there and that's how doctors know which and how many arteries have blockages and what needs to be done. so that's basically what dad went for.

i hate doctors, hospitals and anything to do with medical stuff. i've had a phobia ever since i was 9 and it has never left me. each time i visit the hospital, 98% of the time i wld have fainted either before i step inside it, while i was in the hospital or as i was leaving. so eversince then, i never go to hospitals unless very, very, very impt. it sucks. hospitals just terrify me. but that morning, i decided i had to be there cos it was dad. i just wanted to be there as a pillar of support. we all knew he was nervous abt the whole thing too and what was family if we couldn't be there for him? deepa missed her morning lectures to be with mum and me.

while in the hospital, as dad got changed and pushed inside the CT scan room, tears were streaming down my face. i was terrified. i mean, i knew it was just a scan and the result was what was supposed to be worried abt but just the mere thought of my dad going through a painful process broke my heart into a million pieces. mum was really nice. she hugged me and patted my head and said ' i know he'll be alright and u know it too. u just need to believe it'.
my sister, needless to say was as strong as steel. she was reading 'female' magazine and asking me my opinions on what make-up to buy. i know, it sounds so heartless but that's her. she NEVER reveals her fears and insecurities though inside she's probably feeling 10 times more worried than i was. but that was just her, the bolder one while i'm the one who can't control my emotions. can u believe it? i'm supposed to be the elder sister. but here she was, consoling me. but this was the norm anyway. either way, i wad glad she was with me cos i only, wld not have been able to comfort mum. look at me, i myself am such a chicken!

well, in abt 30 min dad was out and he seemed fine. the nurse told us that he'll know the results in a day or two. the doctor wld be calling him.

well, the doctor did and guess wad?! he's totally fine! even the doctor was amazed at the results. everything abt the heart is healthy and dad was told to maintain those standards. yay! i know only good things happen to nice people and dad's awesome. how can god be so cruel to him eh? haha. biased, i know but hey, it's MY dad!

so anyway, after that i went over to town meet kamini again to continue with our shopping spree. we got a couple of earrings, shoes, tops and even shades! then i was totally excited to bring her over the the 'Balcony Bar' for a drink although we were still full from lunch but the ambience was so beautiful we just didn't have the heart to come back another day. i know she loved it too.. we have mocca and lattes instead of alchoholic drinks (well, i don't drink and kamini is not the types who drinks often so yea).

we took so many pictures, most of which turned out nice. some of them are already posted up in my friendster list. go have a look yea?

i thought i had an awesome time on tuesday despite the sickening headache every now and then. the shopping was fun, the walking all over was also fun and most of all the company was awesome! thanks aussie babe! hah.

p/s; u know what's the nicest part of u kamini? that u've been overseas for the past 5 years but u're ever bit singaporean and tamilian. u never once pretended to be someone u were not. u dun act like some big shot just because u spent most of ur teenage life in some western country, u dun dress up like some posers and wannabes; u're simple and i LOVE u for that, u embrace ur culture (much more than i'd care to say. haha) and u love both your family and friends alike and you do not judge. u look past the superficialities and i think for that, u deserve a big pat on the back. don't you ever change alright?

ok, maybe for some aspects only but so far, you've been great. big, big hugs woman! muah!

wednesday

wednesday was day off from all that outings! i needed to replenish my energy so i decided to stay home and bum in front of the tv and boy did it feel goooood! now, i'mm all hyped up again and am ready for more sun, sand and sea. i actually can't wait for the rock-climbing session with my SIM clique and more kayaking *hint, hint lynette*

and i wanna blog more but i really need to go get dressed to meet wicky boy for a movie @ 5 and the time's already 3! i'm so dead. so i tell u what, i'll come back tonight to continue with the posts? good. bye ya'll! hugs!

2006-11-24T22:32:00.001+08:00

- and how can the day end w/o a picture with her?! -

2006-11-24T22:32:00.000+08:00

-and that's with kamini's dad in the train! the uncle's way cooler than the daughter. hahaha! -

2006-11-24T22:31:00.000+08:00

- my face looks huge in this pic but i kinda like the feel of it -

2006-11-24T22:30:00.000+08:00

the day we met kamz, right after she got back to singapore - 17.11.06

2006-11-24T22:26:00.000+08:00

- towards the end of the day, when we looking all tired and sticky. but it was fun nevertheless! -

2006-11-24T22:22:00.000+08:00

- and this was supposed to be some sorta artistic shot which turned out more spastic than artistic actually. heh -

2006-11-24T22:21:00.000+08:00

- erm, since this blog address is only dispersed to a few closed ones who actually have already seen the so-not-unglam side of me, i decided i might as well post up this pic. u guys have seen me in the worst anyway -

2006-11-24T22:19:00.001+08:00

- this picture, i like many, many -

2006-11-24T22:19:00.000+08:00

- all huddled up -

2006-11-24T22:18:00.000+08:00

- the view, it was awesome. how i wish i lived there. that'll be way cool -

2006-11-24T22:17:00.000+08:00

- dun even ask me what we were up to. apparently it was supposed to be an attempt at 'modelling'. yea, we suck! -

2006-11-24T22:16:00.001+08:00

- she's damn tiny la. so much so that i look her mother lor! annoying! -

2006-11-24T22:16:00.000+08:00

- that's anitha, myself and punitha @ palawan (151106) -

2006-11-18T23:48:00.000+08:00

wednesday (151106)

i was waiting for wednesday for the longest time. anitha & myself had planned a belated birthday surprise for punitha for so long and it was finally gonna materialise on wednesday. i couldn't wait and what better place then sentosa to have it.

if i was to blog abt every single thing that happened that day, it wld take me a few entries at least so i'll post up some of the pics that were taken so that they'll depict most of wad we did. but one thing for sure, it defintely brought the three of us alot closer. especially punitha since she had been so busy ever since she graduated from poly to meet up. oh, how i had missed her. she was the next person after reshma that truly knew what was happening in my life for the longest time and the moment we left poly, everything simply changed. not because we wanted it to, it merely happened. just like that. sometimes you just don't have answers to questions like - why?

well anyway, it's good that at least anitha and i were free enough to meet up fairly often despite being in different schools. that is the speciality of friendships isn't it? it's really not a matter of how often you meet but how comfortable the silence in btw was. amazing.

so anyhow, the sun, sand and the sea was great and another outing has been planned and this time with the boyfriends as well. so that'll make 3 couples, 6 people and i can only imagine how it's gonna be. for a start, all 3 boyfriends have nvr met one another before since both punitha and i are with different pple now. anitha's the only one whose still with yoges (which is a great thing, of course. 5 yrs and counting). and surprsingly, all 3 boyfriends have agreed to have a threesome-date, i really wasn't expecting that. will blog abt how that outing turned the next time aight? for now, enjoy the pictures that'll be uploaded soon enough.

thursday

it's my parents' wedding anniversary! it's been a 23 year ride, filled with both good and bad but i'm glad that they've walked thru the rocky and smooth paths together.

sis and i got them gifts; dad, an aromatherpy set from 'the body shop' since he's into all these things and mum, some beauty products and later dinner (seafood) at night courtesy of the children (the living proof of their solemnized love. haha).

and though i highly doubt my parents will be reading this, i'll still like to say " HAPPY ANNIVERSARY DAD & MUM! Many more years together yea?"

- love can be a beautiful thing after all -

friday

and that aussie babe, kamini has finally arrived in our sing-chia-po! yay! i can't even start to imagine the 'koothu' we'll be having the coming weeks since we all know what a clown she can be!
met her @ serangoon for some authentic indian lunch and then for some digi cam shopping with her dad. vicky met up with us afterwards too. it was quite a short lunch date since that woman was rushing off to catch the 'motor show' ( yes, the one that i went for and am owing pictures still) in suntec with her dad.

vicky and i then came back to my place for a gym session and then met fabian for dinner @ jurong point's delifrance. actually, he picked us up from my place since he just lives 7 min away from me. dinner was erm, quite emotional (to me at least) since we actually spoke abt our past r'ships and other significant things in life which we nvr did before. we always clowned ard and spoke abt the most random-est of things but that night was different and for a while i thought i saw the 'real' fabs. the one who was actually quite vulnerable inside, the one who was innately quite human. i was quite amazed when he seemed to recover from his break-up in just an instant but dinner that day made me realise that what you see isn't always what u get. oh well, he's a gem and a precious one at that and i'm pretty sure in not time at all, he'll find this gorgeous babe who comes along with a heart of gold and finally settle down with her and produce many more fabs jr. hee!

we finally left delifrance at 10pm where he dropped me back and then vicky. i love rides. especially with fabs cos the rides always keep me at the edge of my seat (pun intended)! lol!

* for my non-indian friends "koothu' refers to mischief.

p/s: is it friday already? the week sure flew by in a jiffy. the weekend's already here!

2006-11-18T23:35:00.000+08:00

- from left to right: fabian, ponvili, myself, lavanya, uma & kumar @ vivocity's top deck -

2006-11-18T23:32:00.000+08:00

- and this was a sucha unglam shot ok! some passer-by had to snap when we were unfinished -

2006-11-18T23:21:00.000+08:00

- i love this shot, dun ask me why. i just think it's nice; ponvili ( i think she's gorgeous and i also think god's really unfair), myself, uma (she's really hard to figure out but i'll manage. haha) -

2006-11-18T23:14:00.000+08:00

- uma & myself @ thai express while waiting for our food. and were were super hungry! -

2006-11-18T23:10:00.000+08:00

- erm this is what happens when you try too be too smart and attempt taking pictures urself instead of asking a passer-by to help you out -

2006-11-18T23:04:00.000+08:00

- with thamarai @ suntec's marche; lunching -

2006-11-18T22:03:00.000+08:00

am back again, for another round of updates.
i have been on my feet eversince monday that all i wanna do now is to take a break and bum at home. and it's only the first week of the holidays.

monday

got up and hit the gym and this time it was so diificult to actually drag my ass there. abstinence from exercise the past one mth cos of assignments and exams have done my body some damage. i've been lazier than ever and getting me started required a huge amt of effort but you know what? i overcame that and am now in my third day of gymmin this week. thank god.

so anyway, i did abt 1 1/2 of working out, headed back home to take a cold shower and went off to meet thamarai after a good one year. yea, it had been that long since i caught up with her and lunch that day was good. we went over to marche @ suntec and lunched from 3 to 6. haha, talking abt seat-hogging! but thankfully there weren't much pple ard and we had the whole place to ourselves. got alot of advice from her regarding joining a bank after my graduation since she's been with DBS for 2 years and now OCBC; it really isn't such a pretty picture after all and the pay, tho it is a substantial amt for a fresh grad but so is the workload and working hours. it cld apparently strecth till 10pm sometimes and the minus point is that you're not even paid over-time. grrr. slavery, i say! oh well, i've already decided abt wanting to join a bank after graduation so i think i'm gonna stick with it and be firm with my decision. after all, like what guna always says - " tell me which job isn't tough? they all have their own cons. it's really just a matter of how you work ard it diligently". but of course, who else cld have said it better than the workaholic himself. hmpf.

and with other random gossips and updates the short but very pleasant date with thamarai ended and i rushed off to vivocity for yet another date with uma and ponvili. i was running late and tearing my sandals halfway while walking towards cityhall mrt station really didn't help. thank god for a charles & keith that was ard, i managed to get myself another pair of sandal (which was the exact same pair as the one i just tore). yes, i told you i can't take very well to changes. haha.

and so i reached vivo city a bit later @6.15pm. phew, that was only a good 15 min late.
surprisingly the threesome date ended up with more people as soon as i got there. lavanya happened to join us and so did fabian and his fellow running mate, kumar who happened to be there as well. it's really weird how everyone knows everyone in the indian community. like how i got to know fabs thru jay and fabs knew ponvili cos it's jay's gf and so uma and lavanya get to know him too and before you know it, we're all one big happy family. tsk, tsk. i seriously think that the indian community is getting way too connected for my own liking. it's freaky, you nvr know who might be 'discussing' abt you and where.

anyway, the most disappointing event of that day was bumping into senthil (the ex bf) and his girlfriend @ vivo! and to think that was the LAST thing on earth i wanted and it just HAD to happen to me. and what's worse is that it had to happen when both of us just had a fight a few weeks back and were not on talking terms! i really do not understand why evil things happen only to me.. sigh. the feeling sucked, seeing them so happy together, seeing another person in the position i used to be in once. my heart was wrenching and i felt sick for a moment and tears were abt to spill out of my eyes but i forced them back. it was only then that i realised that the break-up was still so raw. come february, it'll be 2 years since we've parted and gone our separate ways yet the pain still remains, buried deep inside the heart. it feels fucked up and tho i'm typin this entry a good 5 days later, everything still seem so fresh in my mind.

we parted on bad terms, made up and promised to remain best friends along the way, got used to the fact that we now belong to different people, share our present r'ship woes, fight abt it sometimes cos either one of us cld have been too insensitive and revealed a tad too much that the other party really didn't need to know, hang up the phone in jealousy, pretended to be ok when listening to the new r'ship stories and giving advice to one another, ignoring each other for days just to know that the other party is hurting and we simply feel good to learn abt it..

why do senthil and i do it, i never understand but a part of me tells me that i was right - i'll never get over him completely even if years pass and that i'll always love him tho i may not be IN love with him anymore and for as long as we keep in touch/remain as friends i'll never stop being jealous of his girlfriends and neither will he. so today, i have come to terms that senthil will affect me, is affecting me and will continue to affect me with his actions even in the future and there is really nothing much i can do to stop it. and it sucks that he's not called for a good 2 weeks (which is the longest thus far after our break-up) and that i had to see him when we were not on good terms and walk away pretending not to know one another when we clearly saw each other, with his gf by his side throwing daggers at my face with her eyes. i really wish i cld gorge them out! argh!

someone pls tell me why i'm feeling this way. i'm supposed to be truly, madly, deeply in love with my boyfriend and no other male specimen was supposed to affect my mind!! this really feels like crap!

oh well, despite all that i still had fun on tuesday with uma, ponvili, fabs, kumar and lavanya. dinner at thai express was yummy, shopping was tiresome cos the place was so huge and by the time we walked abt a quarter of that place we were exhausted, scenic views were breathtaking at night, photo taking sessions were fun as usual and simply talking at the rooftop was even more fun. more such outings, i anticipate.

tuesday was good. but it cld have been better if not for some people.
but then again, life's always unfair.

2006-11-14T23:19:00.000+08:00

now you can have an audience to comment on your interesting blog entries :)

- Sajeetha's "so-called-smart-ass-cousin" :p

2006-11-13T22:08:00.000+08:00

so it's the third day of my holidays and i've already been out every single day. not too bad for a start, i suppose. saturday was spent at an aunt's place for yet another post-deepavali dinner, much of sunday was spent at 'the singapore motor show' at suntec city with the family. goodness, the various types of cars almost blew me over. some of those, you won't even see on the roads, they look like the sort which will only come out in sci-fi movies or out of a james bond show. yes, that amazing. for those of you who wanna have a chance at the rare-sights, there is still hope for you; the show is on till the 19th of november and 10 bucks is all u need to pay to see the vast display of cars. and for those who really cannot make it due to unforseen circumstances but wld kill to go, do not fret - the great sajeetha/jeetha nvr leaves home without her camera remember? shall post up those heavenly pictures for ya'll too gawk at alright? hah.

and today is a monday. the plan was to hit the gym in the morning, meet aarthi for lunch @ NUS, go down to arab street to buy materials to sew a punjabi suit afterwhich head on to anitha's place to get it sewn by her mum and proceed to my tuition kid's place to collect my way overdue fees and meet the boyfriend who was on mc and has reported sick for work. much of it materialised tho except for the part that i ended up meeting vicky instead of aarthi for lunch @ fish & co, over at bugis and my everdearest marathoner of a friend, fabian williams joined us after that. wad does that mean? i have a chauffeur to bring me to arab street and what more, in a subaru wrx! yay! nah, that wasn't the intention, really. it's always wonderful seeing him cos he's such a great guy! anyway, while shopping at arab street the boyfriend called to say that he was somewhere nearby and since i had to go over to anitha's place which was in woodlands, he'd come pick me up from bugis cos he was on his way home too (he lives in woodlands as well). so, fabian dropped me off at lavender mrt and i waited for the boyfriend. i'm such a brat, aren't i? i either have the father, the boyfriend, some friend or the cab-driver chaffeuring me ard ALWAYS! tsk, tsk! shame on me! hehe!

this is the highlight of the day! those few hours from 4 till 8 with him was so amazing and we didn't do our normal fun stuff which almost always gets me excited like bumming in sentosa, watching movies, going for some party etc. see, while waiting for him i decided to get myself a choco-latte from starbucks but just as i was paying, he arrived. so of course, i took the drink into the car like what any other normal person wld do. what i forgot was that i was wearing white and that cars cld jerk which makes the possibility of my drink spilling on me very high. indeed, that was what happened! my white shirt had choce-latte splattered over it! argh! i had to wear white today of all days! just my luck! so we headed over to his place (i waited in the car while he went up to get it. this point has to be stressed for those who know abt the ulgy ordeal i went through with the mother!) so that i cld borrow one of shirts. when he came back, i realised he was having a fever and i dragged him to a nearby clinic. another day of mc! i know he's ecstatic; anything is better than gg to work. all thanks shld go to me! haha!

after the clinic, he drove me to anitha's place and waited patiently while i got my stuff done. later on we proceeded on to my tuition kid's place to collect my fees (yay, i'm 150 bucks richer!) and then to a petrol station to pump petrol and get the car washed and the tyres checked and finally, dropped me back home!

so what's so great abt today, u may ask. let me tell you; today is the first time in these 10 months (tomorrow is our 10th mth anniversary) of our relationship, i felt married. yes, married. i have no idea if that feeling is good or bad but all that i know is that it felt right. we were both clad in our shorts and t-shirts and slippers, totally casual, holding hands happily yakking away abt some girl who was after his friend and her messages to him and how funny they were, crossing the roads, buying things from ntuc, paying for it and coming back to the carpark to get the car and driving me to one place and another and waiting for me - all of these seemed too familiar. it seemed like what daddy and mummy would do. and since my parents are my inspiration to how a perfect couple should be (minus all the petty quarrels they have) it's no surprise why i felt like a married couple today!

oh well, i love the feeling and a tiny part of me secretly wishes to know how it'd really feel to be his wife and not just a girlfriend. it's freaking me out really, thoughts abt marriage always do but today, just today marriage didn't seem quite a bad and scary thing after all.

hmmm, is it time for wedding bells already? god, i gotta be kidding! no way! i still have a good 4-5 years to go. i think i'll be prepared by then. well, i should be or else dad'll be kicking me outta the hse! haha!

alright, enough of all these 'serious' talk. am gonna let ya'll off from my lovey-dovey syndrome and hit the bed for i've got a string of stuff to do tomorrow:

gym in the morning
popular to get art basics
IMM to get shorts
get punitha's bday present done
meet thamarai @ cityhall for coffee
meet uma @ vivocity for shopping

2006-11-13T00:12:00.000+08:00

- Why I Fought With Staff Over 30 Cents -

the other day, i went to war over 30 cents. oh, and a principle.
i had ordered a meal at a popular fast-food place. the sign said i would get two pieces of fish, fried and a 22 ounce soft drink. the drink wasn't specified on the sign so i assumed it meant any soft drink. therefore, i didn't expect to be told that my choice of soft drink - iced lemon tea, would cost me an additional 30 cents.

the clerk pointed to a mat on the counter advertising a different meal promotion where an 'upsized' cola would cost 20 cents more and an iced lemon tea, 30 cents more.

the battle began.

i'll spare u all the to-ing and fro-ing but my points were these: what you advertise is a sort of contract. in exchange for $6.55, i get 2 pieces of fish, fries and a 22 ounce soft drink. if u want to be more specific about the drink, then say so upfront on the sign or in the ad. you cannot make the details of one offer apply to another. the man running the outlet agreed that the sign was misleading, but he said he couldn't waive the 30-cent charge. he was willing to lose a $6.55 sale for 30 cents.

i called his boss, who kept asking: "did they explain the charge to you?" i kept saying: "it doesn't matter what they verbally explain; they have to go with the offer on the sign." finally the boss agreed to give me the iced tea without the 30 cent charge. before leaving, i reminded her to fix the sign so that it clearly reflected the terms of her offer. she told me she would pass my 'feedback' to headquarters.

we read abt people who get trapped in contracts becos they didn't read the fine print. i don't have much sympathy for them. but when there is no fine print or big print for that matter, i really go ballastic. it's endemic in singapore. banks advertise, "open an account today and win a merc!" if you take this literally, it means exactly that - you WILL win a merc. instead, companies assume that YOU will ASSUME that it means ' a CHANCE to win a merc". oh, and there's the famous catch-all "terms and conditions apply". what terms? which conditions?
would you sign a contract to buy a house which simply states "terms and conditions apply"? i don't think so. but many retailers here seem to think that this is enough for consumers to know. i once tried to use a loyalty card to buy a gift.

the card - you know the kind where after you complete the chops, you get a $60 voucher - listed no restrictions other than "terms and conditions apply". okay, fine.
so i picked out the gift, a selection of guest soaps ina pretty tin but was told i couldn't use my loyalty voucher to pay for it. "why not?" i asked. "oh because that tin of soaps is a promotion item and you can't use the voucher to buy promotion items, " the sales clerk replied.
"ah, but there is nothing in the card that says that the tin of soaps is a promotion item," i replied, my blood pressure hovering around the 200 mark by now.

you want to hear what the clerk said? it's a classic - "in our minds, we know it is a promotion item."

so the next time you go shopping practice your mental telepathy.
and even if it is only 30 cents, refuse to get ripped off.
call managers, bosses, supervisors.
make a fuss.
eventually, retailers will get the message, telepathic or otherwise.

by: joanna hughes (TNP's freelance writer, columnist)

i borrowed this story only because i felt her plight, all too much. i remember the countless amounts of time i was put in such siutations and how i've always ended up with such shooting pressure, i had to calm myself down before my nerves burst. it's annoying isn't it? so guys, please. the next time you come across siutations like these, do not let them talk you down. you talk them out of it. dun get ripped off!

singapore's advertising can do way much better, i reckon! hmpf!

2006-11-11T19:00:00.000+08:00

ahh, so my tag board's still not working.
blogging can be really boring if u don't have an audience, i realised.
no one to comment on ur posts, to criticize ur thoughts and ideas. haha.
shall do something abt it soon. not that i know how to make it right actually.
i'm a computer illiterate!

ANYWAY, i really can't believe i'm here, in the comfort of my room, happily typing away without any recurring dreams of failing my exams or forgetting what i've learnt so hard or having silly thoughts that i've just entered the wrong exam hall the past few weeks! yes loves and sweethearts, THE exams are finally OVER! u heard me, OVER!

*wwwwwwooooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! *

i've never felt better. the last paper went quite alright since i had a lot to write. well, i have no idea if half of what i've written is right but you know, the feeling? when u write so much there's bound to be something right somewhere? ahh, i'm hoping for that. heh. went for a good lunch with hongyan and lynette @ hollad v after the paper and guess wad we had? subway! anyway, the conversation that accompanied the lunch was amazing (but err, it was actually me who was doing most of the talking! hee!). but it was wonderful pouring out my woes to both lynn and hongyan abt my relationship with guna, the trivial matters over which we argue abt, some friends who change along the way and how it's really difficult to get accustomed to these changes, how i suddenly realised that i was drifting in life without a purpose other than to complete a degree, find a stable job, get married and settle down and what not! phew, that was a mouthful! yes, it was such a relief letting all of these thoughts out and getting the 'desired' answers/advices/responses certainly made the talk all the more worthwhile. i just had so much to share with these two. ok, so i admit. among the 6 of us, i love these two the most. haha. and i seriously cannot wait to get the holidays started with them and thinking abt the countless amt of activities that we're gonna be getting ourselves involved in is making me oh-so-excited!

lynette! salsa! can u believe it? we're gonna be salsa-ing our way to school next sem! gosh, one of the best reasons to enjoy this holiday; salsa dancing! what cld be better! and lim hongyan, if u're reading this entry, i reckon u join us cos baybeh, u're gonna have so much fun! hahahah!

so after what seemed like a good 4 hours, we finally decided to leave subway and head our separate ways. i got home, changed and met guna for a movie that night. we watched 'step up', this movie abt contemporary dance and now i'm more than inspired to take up contemporary dancing! see what movies can do to u? told dad abt it and he told me not to be 'a jack of all trades and master of none' and instead concentrate on my salsa first! i'll do just that then. it was quick evening with the boyfriend cos i cld see he was really tired after work and i really hated to keep him out with me so late so obviously being the 'understanding & caring' girlfriend that i am, i decided to cut the date short and ended up home way earlier than i was supposed to be. argh, things u do for love?! still such a mystery!

later that night, ard 11.45pm, the 'evil twin' kamini called all the way from aussie! i still can't believe she's only abt 5 days away from coming back! faster come back gundu and who knows, i might be able to teach u a thing or two abt salsa since u so wanna learn too! and of course the car rides with guna and sandeep and our lookout for 'tamileh' shows eh? babe, u sure u are studying in University of Tasmania? I seriously have this bad feeling abt Annamalai Uni still. heh! anyway u're coming back and that's all that matters la ah? sekiram vanthu un satti kau-vei engae kaatu! hahahahaha!

alright people, i'm off now. have got to start doing up cards and stuff for some of friends whose b'day falls this month so i'm gonna be busy but i promise to update as often as i can! till then, have a wonderful weekend and for those whose exams are over (like me), ENJOY YOUR HOLIDAYS and those who are yet to start, YOU POOR THING! *evil grinz*

bubye!!!!!!

2006-11-06T21:52:00.000+08:00

- Deepavali Street Parade 2006; UTSAV -

2006-11-06T21:44:00.000+08:00

can u believe it? i'm left with just one more paper to go on the 10th and i'm all done with the dreaded exams! what a huge relief! i've never been more happier!

exams

the second paper, human resource development was a shocker. the case study drained me out i swear and for a moment, i even regretted trying to contemplate and memorise answers i previously did cos releasing the case study earlier surely did not help as hell! section A was a breeze though and thank god i concentrated on 'evalutaion' else i'd have walked out of the exam hall barely after 1/2 an hour!

the third paper, marketing research (MR) - let's just say if HR was a shocker, MR gave me a premature cardiac arrest! I had no freaking idea what i was writing about and if i even remotely manage to scrap through this module, i swear i'll start believeing in the existence of god! it was such a screw up, i've lost all motivation to start on the next paper, which apparently is also the last! u know how it is when u're approaching the end of exams. your psychological system already tunes its mind to the partying mode and u're left with almost zero energy to mug. well, i dunno abt urs but mine certainly has started doing its thing!

events & occasions taken place

30th was also my cousin's 21st birthday party, a small gathering at his place. i was actually intending not to go since i only had two days to study for my marketing paper but right after the HR paper, i saw mum's sms insisting i should go. and so i went. thank god for boyfriends who drive, guna offered me a ride to my uncle's place that evening and this i saved abt 13 bucks from clementi to sing ming ave. not forgetting the travelling time. haha. i'm a spoilt brat! and if u're reading this - "Happy 21st Birthday Kumz! Hope u had a blast!"

alright, this may not exactly be an event or an occasion but i thought i had to get it down here. i am now a 'laksa' addict. so what, you may say but the point here is that i have never in my 22 years of life actually eaten laksa and my very first time was only 3 weeks ago and that too after much persuasion/coercion on guna's part! and guess what? i loved it and in this span of 2 weeks, i've had laksa 3 times!! haha, i know too much of something is always bad so i've put a hold on it but not for long, till i find another laska stall nearby. so far, i've tried the one in holland v, a hawker centre in jurong east,newton and a coffee shop off bugis village and i think the jurong east hawker centre serves the best! if anyone of you out there share a common interest in savouring laksa, u are always welcome to join me. heh.

a post deepavali celebration was held at my place on the 4th. only called a few friends over and as i was writing up the list of whom to call, it hit upon me that as i grew older i'm only left with a few closed ones i actually hang out with. yes, i agree i've got tonnes of aquaintances everywhere i go but friends to call my own, the ones who'll go the extra mile for me, take the effort to give a call or sms to ask how i'm doing, the ones who'll literally cry along with me when i'm in pain or wipe my tears or give me advices till the wee hours of the moring? just how many of them did i have? only a handful. but the comforting part abt this realisation is that i'm totally comfortable and contented with this idea. with just having a few ard me who make up my small but precious world. i've got everything else i need in these few, what more do i want or can i ask for? i guess it's all part of growing up. hanging out in large groups, having fun during lunch, having dance practices, going for dance competitions, play, musicals, recitals, variety shows, expensive dinner, oogling at gorgeous guys from various schools and exchanging numbers, dating some of the 'sought after' men, being bitched abt becos u're liked by many, being a part of the 'cool' clique in school etc - i've been there, down that. serious. it may sound like i'm gloating but i'm not. that is the truth. but now, those are the last things i want. i want more from life, more out of life, more depth, more substance, less materiality, less superficiality. this is what i want now. what i want as a 22 year old.

amazing isn't it, growing up? it sure is. gives u a bird's eye view of life, everything starts making sense and falls into place. perfectly. ok, not perfectly but almost there. that's good enough, isn't it?

the next thing i'm gonna write abt is not exactly and event/occasion but rather an issue which got me feeling a little too uneasy and doubtful abt truths; truths of all sorts. you see, i invited this small bunch of people over to my house last saturday as i mentioned in my 5th point earlier. and in this bunch is one girl who used to share this ' special' friendship with guna (yes, my boyfriend) during poly days but along the way, it diminished for various reasons that i don't exactly know. but it has been rumoured that if i hadn't became closer to guna at that same point of time as these 2 were friends, and if our friendship didn't lead to us getting attached guna might just have ended up with this girl. or so they say. don't ask me who 'they' are. they're just a bunch of typical indian mamas who waste their time finding for filth and distributing that filth to sources who relish in other's misery/sadness/sorrows/etc. i've got a simple question though. guna and i got together only after a year of being friends while he knew this girl way before he got aquainted with me. if he actually was in the process of asking her to be his girlfriend, just what took him so long? i mean, he had a year didn't he? whatever!

so anyway this girl came over too. though i've always sensed that she secretly bears a grude on me for 'coming in between them' she has never outrightly showed dislike towards me and i too, never doubted the sincerity of her friendship. after all, i knew her years before guna actually did and the both of us were very good friends. in fact, she was one of the few people who've actually seen me cry during the days of my break up with senthil and who was there, constantly asking me if i was alright. how things change..

that night, i came across her blog and to my disappointement she had actually written abt guna, abt how she missed the times she had with him and it pained her to be far away from him though he was right beside. even that wasn't so bad cos it was her blog afterall, and she was entitled to write whatever she felt. i mean who am i to say she is wrong. but the very last sentence in her blog left me with a queasy feeling the whole day; "whats yrs now might not be yrs the next second". this was what it said.

u know what hurts? the fact that i disregard the uncomfortable fact that she harboured some feelings of romance for my boyfriend, looked beyond that and treated her a good friend only to have it not reciprocated. there you are, right in my house wishing my boyfriend was yours. how am i supposed to feel abt that? and when i wanted to shrug off that feeling, vicky told me about something she overheard that very day which confirmed my suspicions.

so why do you give me compliments, casually ask if we're both doing ok, say u miss our times together, comment that both guna & i look good togther when u wish none of these were true? why do i always treasure the wrong people? sigh.

the boyfriend

things between us blow hot and cold eversince forever. for every amazing day out, there'll be two days of quarrels but i've gotten used to that these days. it's inevitable for a couple not to fight and maybe it's time i put my happily-ever-fantasies aside and look at life as an adult. but either way, i've never been more in love with him than now. i love you baby, yes i do. heh.

plans for the holidays

i seriously cannot wait for the holidays!!! i've got awhole list of items planned out and am awaiting to have them executed. i'm sensing that the most adventurous things will be done with my sim clique cos they're the coolest ever! lynette, rock climbing!! i have decided to put my fears aside and join both hongyan and yourself and of course the other million activities we have decided to get working on! can't wait at all! holidays, here i come! and that fact that hald my friends who are over the seas studying are coming back to singapore for the vacations brings another huge smile to my heart! it's gonna be an awesome end to the year, i hope. dad has even planned a trip to switzerland in the middle of december. hopefully all goes well!

alrighty, i really gotta head off now. have spent more then the designated time for blogging. time to hit the books again before waking up to a brand new day. hope u guys have a great week ahead.

toodles.

2006-10-25T23:44:00.000+08:00

alright, so i'm feeling really sleepy and have absolutely no desire to get started for the next paper. revision, that is. so the first paper was just over, a few hours ago and i must say it went pretty well. not too bad for a start. after hours of trying to finish up just that one miserable chapter of hrd, i decided i might as well just put aside my books, have a good sleep, wake up to a better tomorrow and start revision afresh. that might help. i really am working at a snail's pace and i have no idea what's up with me. i guess i'm still drowning in the deepavali hype! damn the education system, really!

so, after viewing my friendster page for the zillionth time and deleting and reposting pictures, i decided i needed to get a life. thus the reason for blogging! hah, sad life! it's going to be a good month since i last updated, i see. 1st was my last entry, and today is the 25th? well, not much has happened but i shall blog em down anyway. i good way to keep both you and me occupied, don't you think?

So from the first and second week of october was spent finishing up my last days of tuition since most of my kids' exams were coming to an end, revising my for the damned leadership and management exam on the 9th, rushing through the ethics & governance essay which was due on the 13th and scrambling up and down BBDC for my driving revisions to prepare myself (though i frankly doubted that i'll ever be prepared when it comes to driving) for my practical test on the same day as the assignment submission, friday the 13th!

well, tuitions came to a halt, leadership & mgt test ended, assignment was completed successfully and submitted and driving test was a failure! marvellous, isn't it? yes, so i failed my damn traffic police test, vomitted right next to my car before my test (i was a nervous wreck, u shld have seen me), u-turned at the thrid gear, signalled left when i was told to turn right, hit the kerb twice as i was doing the damned parallel parking and got myself 30 points! ok, so maybe that's like 8 points lesser than my sister when she failed her first test and she WAS doing auto afterall while i was fumbling with my gears on a manual car as dad pointed out to me but i really wasn't too convinced by it. i felt like a loser. a sore loser and it didn't help that guna had just passed his test with a remarkable 10 points just 3 weeks before me! i'm competitive trust me, and i absolutely loathe losing! urgh!

a part of me knew i was going to fail it but then again, don't we all wish for miracles sometimes? so when i was told that i really had failed, i forced myself not to cry. it was MY first time after all. i cld do better the next time around now that i've gotten some first hand experience and feel of it all. hopefully, the second test wld be a success or else i swear i'll give up ALL hopes of driving ever again. i'm just a worry wart, i'm scared to do about almost everything and that's my greatest weakness! sigh, i'll console myself by saying -failure is the stepping stone to success sajeetha. u can do it! -

right, after all the madness on the friday i decided to meet vicky and do a little shopping at bugis and little india for deepavali. i still hadn't bought my accesories and thus shopping we did with some weird photo taking session as well. this time with a theme in mind, since it was friday the 13th after all. i'm still contemplating posting them though. check out the blog soon and u might just see it after all!

2006-10-25T23:43:00.000+08:00

after all that shopping with vicky on friday, we decided to head on down to little indian AGAIN on saturday for a certain 'deepavali street parade' they were having this year. guna told me it was a indian version of chingay but only much shorter in distance. hmm, something interesting so i thought i'll drag vicky along with me to catch a glimpse of it since it was so near her place anyway and since my boyfriend had no time for me. nothing new, this never having time phrases and dialogues, i've gotten to used to them, really. even when it's supposed to be my 9 month anniversay. sheesh. alright, i'm digressing. the street parade, called 'utsav' was so crowded i though i'd get lost in the human flood. it felt like some mini thaipusam but it was quite fun being squashed in between people, literally being stepped on toes, squeezing through massive crowd to find a vacant spot to stand and watch all the fun - quite awesome actually.haha.

and then on sunday, i was supposed to be at hongyan's birthday chalet only to realise that i had to stay home for my grandad's prayers. felt awfully rotten for not being able to go and it just felt worse when i realised this was the second time i've missed her birthday!! i HAVE to make it up to her one of these days, after the exams! and so that week was over!

third week of october was spent studying for the first exam paper in between all the hustle and bustle of deepavali preparations. the hype was cathing on and i was amazed at the self discipline i had mustered the whole week to keep my focus on EG and EG alone but of course there were several trips made to tekka for countless reasons. i love festive seasons, don't you? it's just so much fun!

and the highlight of that week was also the fact that guna had bought himself a car! yes, a car of his own. so it's not a brand new car, with gleaming shine and sparkling tyres but a second-hand honda civic. but what's worth all the oos and aahs from me would be the fact that not many 21 year olds have cars which belong to them (meaning, bought without the financial assistance of either parent or anyone else for that matter) and i'm certainly proud of that fact. early this year, when we were joking about new year resolutions and sticking by them he had exclaimed with so much conviction that he's determined to obtain his driving license and get himself a car before the year ends and what do you know? it's october, almost 2 months for the year to end and here he is with both his license and his car. that was when it hit me that i was with a man whose words were full of reliabilty and one whose actions indeed spoke louder than words. this is the kinda people u wld want to spend ur life with, simply because you know there'd be security. things with guna seem more real, something which i'd never felt when i was with senthil. don't mistake me. i'm certainly not putting senthil down now that i'm all so settled with guna. he still holds a huge place in my heart but facts are simply... facts.

anyway, guna brought me for a drive the next day and i was awed by his driving skills. it seemed to me that he had been driving for a few good years. that boy, his passion really drives him to excellence. we went to east coast for some seafood, strolled down the beach, drove around town and finally came back home. it all felt too good, i thought i was dreaming for a moment. now i'm much more motivated than ever to pass my driving and take all my friends for a spin especially vicky and my sim bunch! can't wait at all!

2006-10-25T23:07:00.000+08:00

- pls tell me you were frightened! -

2006-10-25T23:06:00.000+08:00

- JU-ON (PART 3); coming to the theatres near you! -

2006-10-25T21:49:00.000+08:00

it's finally deepavali! yay! i've been waiting for it for soooooo long and it's here! went to guna's place, aarthi's and uncle's that day and to arul's place the next. there were countless more houses to visit but i had to limit myself since i had exams the next day but nevertheless it was spent well! and for the first time in 5 years, i actually got to spend it together with vicky!

aarthi's place was the most fun cos i got to meet all the friends i haven't in a long, long while, especially jay. i didn't realise how much i had missed him until i saw him that day! no matter how big an ass he can be at times, the moment he turns his charms on we'll all melt. that's a proven fact and yes, we love him; truckloads! and fabian, he's so gorgeous now! mister marathoner he calls himself, epitome of charm i say. i bet vicky and kamz will second me on that yea? haha!

since they say pictures paint a thousand words, i shall save all that trouble of typing that thousand words and simply post up the pictures alright? and for those who are indian and reading my blog - here's a happy, happy deepavali/diwali you guys! -

now that deepavali is over, it is hari raya one day after! though i hadn't gone down for some visiting i headed down to sentosa with the boyfriend for some quality time together since we won't be seeing one another till the end of both our exams (his 9th, mine 10th)! that's a torturous two weeks plus? argh, i hate school, i hate studying and most of all, i hate exams! anyway, we had fun at sentosa and before we knew it, it was time to go. that's another thing i dislike; leaving halfway when i'm having a time of my life! we actually decided to head to vivo city, which was just next to sentosa before heading home but seeing the crowd (it was massive!) and sensing there'll be no parking space available we decided to get back there another time. after exams, that is! for those of you who are free and have nothing else to do, get ya ass down to vivo city and write me a review on it aight? i've been hearing all the good things abt it, someone give me the downsides please? heh.

so i guess, i've sorta did a mini update of my life the past month within three entries. am i good or what? haha. u guys have fun! i've got absolutely no idea when's the next time i'm gonna be updating so till then, mmmmmuuuuuuuaaaaaccccckkkkkks! love, love!!

2006-10-01T18:13:00.000+08:00

it has been a week to be exact since the last time i blogged. if you haven't already known, 24 hours is just NOT enough for me so yea, blogging isn't at the top of my priority list right now.

well, what had i been up to the whole of last week? monday was a typical day which started off with lectures and ended with tuition. tuesday, was a rather fulfiling day. it was the day of our HR presentation! i must say i had done a great job that evening (the lecturer said so) though i wldn't be saying the same for the group, a particular person to be exact. i still cannot digest the fact that she stood on stage, with her eyes wide open and with a idiotic look exclaim "these are not my slides!" my god! how cld anyone be in a uni and behave like a total moron, pls tell me! thank god we're assessed based on individual presentaion skills but i'm pretty sure we'll still lose marks for lousy group coordination. oh well, not everything's fair in life anyway!

wednesday was spent exactly the same way as tuesday and thursday was awesome! the much needed stress buster; a day at the beach with the best girlfriend, vicky and we're doing it again next week! yay, i can't wait at all! friday was spent having dinner with sivan, kumaran and his friend hari @ giraffe. yes, i finally went over but was rather disappointed with the food but the ambience gets a thumbs up though. the bill came up to 70 bucks for just 3 dishes and the portion was so miserble, i felt like i was ripped off my money! 4 pathetic button mushrooms and i mean 4 was $9, 3 pieces of chicken was $20 bucks and a a-little-bigger-than-palm-sized plate seafood paella was $18.90! wa lau, tapas tree was so so so much more worth i swear! so people, unless you've got too much money to waste do NOT bother dining in giraffe! guna joined us after his classes and we actually went back to burger king at plaza sing to fill out stomach and it was so fun!

had marketing lecture on saturday morning, afterwhich i joined mum and sis in bugis for some shopping. the rain spoilt most of the fun which led us to cut short the shopping spree and head home earlier. and later in the evening it was a relative's daughter's 1 yr old birthday and the kid was soooo cute i cld have eaten her alive la. too bad they're migrating over to australia next month so this is probably the last time i'll get to see her. sad, sad. anyway i took many, many pictures so u shall take a peek at them alright?

later!ta!

2006-10-01T18:07:00.000+08:00

- she's never letting me go; i told u she loves me! muahahah! -

2006-10-01T18:06:00.000+08:00

- yes, the accomplice in school miss. wong and her everdearest miss.palanisamy! -

2006-10-01T18:04:00.000+08:00

- professionalism, we exude -

2006-10-01T18:01:00.000+08:00

- the only thing that was big down there were the plates! -

2006-10-01T17:51:00.000+08:00

- sivan and mua! the coloured hair people! haha! -

2006-10-01T17:50:00.000+08:00

- giraffe on a friday night, where poor people like us get our money ripped! hmpf! -

2006-10-01T17:46:00.000+08:00

- the birthday baby; miss hena rai turns one -

2006-10-01T17:44:00.000+08:00

- my heartbeat.my world.my life.my dad. -

2006-10-01T17:41:00.000+08:00

- family -

2006-10-01T17:39:00.000+08:00

- we were acutally still talking and getting ready to pose when he HAD to take a candid shot! anyway, u do realise indians have big eyes, don't you? just look at deepa! hahaha! -

2006-10-01T17:37:00.000+08:00

she's such an imp but i do not love her any lesser - the sistas do their thing again.

2006-10-01T15:05:00.000+08:00

- mummy and i; yes, we are mother and daughter tho we bear no resemblance at all! i look my dad ok! -

2006-10-01T15:03:00.000+08:00

- the brazilian band. you cld sooooooo do your salsa with the music, i tell you! well, at least i did! was sooo fun, besides all the other culture shock i had to endure! -

2006-10-01T15:02:00.000+08:00

- that's the yummy yummy chicken! lynette we shld have used these pictures for our presentation la! hahah! -

2006-10-01T15:00:00.000+08:00

- with deen, our favourite bar man! he has no choice but to pose with th two imps else he'll be fired. hahaha! -

2006-10-01T14:57:00.000+08:00

dad's restaurant turns 12!

2006-10-01T14:56:00.000+08:00

- and the celebration continues even after the dinner to the lantern festival, over at chinese garden! the wonders of the world were so pretty, pretty! i like! hee!

2006-10-01T14:55:00.000+08:00

this was taken right after he passed his driving test! what can be better than a delicious dinner to celebrate?!

2006-09-25T12:28:00.000+08:00

daddy's restaurant turned 12 yesterday!! it's been a good 12 years and the restaurant's doing better than ever! we had a blast during the celebrations but at the same time learnt alot about the outside, business world some of which wasn't at all very pleasant. i don't wish to get into details here so i'll just post up the pictures. after all, pictures paint a thousand words don't they?

and i have also learn that the westernized (ang moh) lifestyle is way different than our asian cultures and a part of me wondered if i'd ever fit into it one day. but the problem is - i do NOT want to be like them, i'm happy being the conservative old me. why do i say that? cos the 6 hours with them made me rethink a lot of things and i came to a conclusion - they do not have principles of any sort. that sorta makes them quite pathetic, to me at least. the invited guests last evening were some regular customers of the restaurant, most of whom were ang mohs and a handful of locals like us; chinese, indian and a few malays. oh and did i mention? there was even a gay couple and yes, they became my friends. one was anuwar and the other's nick and they're both 39. that was a total culture shock to me. i mean, i've always known that gays existed but being friends with them personally? i'd have never thought of that in a million years to come! but they were a bunch of really nice people actually. nicer than the normal ones! haha!

and there is a whole truckload of stories i cld tell you but i do not have the time for that now so i shall save it for a rainy day alright? enjoy the pictures! muacks!

2006-09-25T11:45:00.000+08:00

so much of good things had taken place but so have some really hurtful and upsetting things which didn't allow me to post up the happy entries the way i had intended to. but thankfully, they are all over now. thank you sivanesh and kumaran for making me laugh in the midst of the tears and really helpful advices. I hadn't realised that i had cousins who were great counsellors. thank you hema for always being there as an aunt aggie on msn . it's like u magically appear each time i'm in despair and say the right things at the right times. genius hema, remember? hee! and it's weird how we always go through the same kinda things. yes, this makes me wonder if indeed we were twins in our last lives.

and this goes out the a special lady who touched my heart on that saturday - kamini.

babe, u have nvr seemed to be the emotional sorta person since the time i've known you. i've always known you to be the happy-go-lucky kinda person and even if u were truly upset u wld plaster a smile on your face and walk abt as if it didn't really matter even if it did. naturally, i thought u didn't like to deal with emotions and the only times i saw u actually get really upset was during the times with the 'turban singh'. haha. i'm glad that's all over now cos u truly deserve someone so much better whose worth all your love and it certainly wasn't him. alright, i'm deviating. coming back to the point, i nvr thought i'd come crying to u on saturday but i did. and the fact that i mattered so much for you to give me a call all the way from australia and be on the phone to ask me what's wrong, for giving me a chance to tell u all that i wanted to, for not judging me based on all that i said, for telling me it's ok to cry and providing me with that valuable advices, you don't know how much that means.

and when u told me it hurt u to hear me cry, that made me cry harder. maybe because you never ever say that sorta things. kamini is always a clown, a joker, a cuckoo who takes life as it comes and when such sincere, meaningful words come from you - i swear i was touched beyond belief. thank you dee and i seriously can't wait for you to come back!

and finally lynette - we've gone through rough times and there's still some explaining to do on my part and maybe on your part too but i'm really thankful that the bigger part of it has blown over and we're back to being as normal. if i were u, i'd not have been that big hearted but u were and i thank you. when i say sim rocks, its truly becos of u and of course hongyan but u know it's your nonsense that i can't live w/o. every little thing that happens, i have to tell you. abt that kamini (a diff one)in our lectures, my new bag, new hair, new make-up, new phone, abusive boyfriend stories, indians and their disgusting habits at times, the copy cat retna and of course guna since calvin and him have SO much in common and what not. and only when that's done do i feel relieved! see how much u mean to me? the bus ride to town on saturday was really fulfilling and the sms that very night was worth even more. u know i love you though i claim otherwise. haha. and remember our book we were supposed to write together? "Don't Judge the Skin by it's Colour!" awesome! muacks!

now that we've gotten that out of the way, on a much lighter note; guna passed his driving! yes, at the first attempt and i've never been more proud. he deserves all these and more simply because he earned it the hard way while juggling so many things in between and of course. the financial commitments was no easy feat. oh well, it's all good now. so finally i have a bf who can drive me ard! yipee, can't wait!!

shall post up the pictures!

2006-09-18T10:38:00.000+08:00

- if you leave this world, you know i'll come with you.
cos there is nothing left for me after you're gone -

the heart's aching. the mind's a whirlwind.
last night was painful.
so much that it ripped my heart into a million pieces.

you have to tell us the truth. at the very least, look after yourself .

as i said, you are OUR world. mum's, sis's and mine.

2006-09-17T15:41:00.000+08:00

it's sunday. yet another end to a boring week and start to a lifeless one. these days, i hardly have time to do anything for myself. everything is about school, school and more school! i'm so afraid i'll lose the motivation and drive i've held on to the for the first half of this semester. sheesh!

oh well, at least i'm holding on to it pretty well. marketing test was over on friday. phew! such a relief!! i'm finally done with the hr individual essay so that's one down. i've just completed my part for the marketing case study and have sent it to the rest of the group. if that turns out fine and all is in accordance, i'm done with marketing too. that leaves me with the hr group assignment and ethics and governance individual essay. madness!!

and my relationship with the boyfriend is suffering! nothing is wrong between us, just that time doesn't permit us to do the things we normally used to do and that kinda sucks. i miss the breakfasts we used have on weekends together, the prata hunts during the evenings we're both free and have nothing to do, the daytona sessions in arcades, our frequent movie marathons, embarassing pool sessions (i suck and he's like 'woah') where my ball actually bounces off to the table beside (ouch!), double dates with friends, sentosa, our second home, the phonecalls every night before we hit the bed (it's no longer existent for we have totally different bed times these days, no thanks to assignments and his reporting time to work), those sweet sms-es in the middle of the day.. argh, u know, just the simple times together. they've all stopped. gone. zero. no more. everything has changed. and i don't take to changes very well!!!

and all this has transformed me into a total bitch of a girlfriend. i find faults on a perpetual basis. even if they don't exist, i create one. i whine in self-pity about how we might as well break up since it doesn't feel like i've got a bf anyway. i hang up on him mid-sentence just so that a fight will erupt and i can say mean things ( i have no idea why but after the screaming match, i always end up feeling better. see, i told u i have transformed into a psycho bitch of a girlfriend). and as usual, it's always my fault cos when i cancel our outings he never complains, just says that although he's disappointed he knows that given a chance i'd kill to be out with him but it's just that there are other more important things like assignments that need my immediate attention. wa lau, i can never be so big hearted as him ok! never! he's always so cool and calm abt everything and that drives me crazy sometimes. we haven't met this entire week and he's totally alright with it. this simply makes me question his feelings for me. does he even care? how can anyone really be that nice? cos i can't and will never be even if i tried. you cancel an outing on me, i'll throw tantrums, reject your calls so that it'll piss u off, not speak to u for days, tell you that we don't have to meet ever again or give some sacarstic comments like, it's alright. nothing new. happens all the time anyway. just don't blame me if i leave u for someone else who has time for me. don't say i didn't warn you!

aarrrgggghhhhhh! who's right and who's wrong? i came to a conclusion - i love him more than he loves me, that's why i always over react and he doesn't. that means, the stronger the emotions are, the stronger the feelings of disappointment or regret, which he obviously doesn't feel.

i don't care if i'm wrong. i'm sticking to this principle! call me selfish, i just don't care! argh!

the mind tells me that we're all growing up and much more important priorites emerge in our lives. we can't always expect the care-free childhood days where everything was so flowery but the heart refuses to listen. i just can't accept it. i know he's not doing anything wrong and any woman wld probably love to have a husband like guna cos he's responsible when it comes to work and all but i don't need a husband now. i just want a boyfriend - the one who lets down his hair once in a while too.

why am i never satisfied? never contented? why am i so hard to please?!

and my social life is dwindling down the drain. will you believe it if i told you that i haven't been anywhere else except for school and tuitions the entire week? i haven't met nor spoken to any friend over the phone, i ignore friends on msn, never reply back to sms-es, i rush like mad from sch to tuition to home and back to school again. it's a bloody cycle and i'm just waiting to crumble. and in all these mess i've learnt something new about myself - i cannot handle pressure!!!!

life's supposed to mould me into a better person. i'm just being moulded into a cranky, grouchy, mean old fart whose way beyond recognition. i'm outta here before i lose myself!

2006-09-13T00:51:00.000+08:00

- squeezed between the two who love him like crazy! -

2006-09-13T00:50:00.000+08:00

- he is sssooooo cute right? dylan, my handsome! -

2006-09-13T00:46:00.000+08:00

- did i tell you? they are crazy about 'ultraman'! -

2006-09-13T00:31:00.000+08:00

- i'm feeding him durian and he's eating is with such vengence. haha! -

2006-09-13T00:28:00.000+08:00

- keegan, savouring every bit of that root beer he's NOT supposed to have. haha, we're mean. we spoil him rotten! -

2006-09-13T00:27:00.000+08:00

- gulp! -

2006-09-13T00:20:00.001+08:00

- and our not-so-pretty feet. muahahahah! -

2006-09-13T00:20:00.000+08:00

- outside ngee ann poly, after the show, with our make-ups meting under the sun. how glamourous! haha! -

2006-09-13T00:15:00.000+08:00

- the trio, anitha, punitha and sajeetha -

2006-09-11T22:12:00.000+08:00

in the blink of an eye, the weekend has ended and the new week has begun. bleurgh!! i have no idea why but suddenly, the thought of school is making me so sick. maybe all the assignments are tests are finally getting to me. i'm succumbing to all the p-r-e-s-s-u-r-e! yikes!!

anyway, thank god there were no classes today. you don't come across cancelled lessons everyday and i was so grateful for today. got a whole lotta stuff done and i feel very satisfied but i still miss the weekend though.

saturday was 'aarathanaa' song finals and dance semis. i only stayed for the first half of the show, which is the song finals since anitha was one of the contestants and after the results were announced, we (anitha, punitha and myself) headed down to westmall for a good lunch since we were starving and 'bali thai' was the choice. the food was way, way, way better than 'thai express' and 'siam kitchen' and i will strongly recommend it to anyone who's game for a good thai meal with relatively inexpensive prices. it has been ages since we met up with punitha since she had been busy working the past year, saving up for her degree but now, though she is in the same school as me, doing the same course but a yr juinor still doesn't make it easy for us to meet. i look back and i sorta feel nostalgic about a lot of things, especially changes which aren't entirely in my favour. punitha used to be 'a vicky' to me last time. we were ALWAYS over at one another's place, crying on one another's shoulders in times of crisis, having double dates with our boyfriends, going for v'day shopping together, staying over in either one's house cramming for project deadlines, studying for exams together and what not. her family was mine and mine, hers. and after graduation from poly, we went our different ways. i started uni and she, worked to support herself and to save enough money for her degree. two years have passed, we are both with different men in a new relationship, we meet once in every 8 months maybe, and don't really know what's going on in our lives except for the rare occasions when we decide to meet up or sms one another. i feel so far away from her but the sad thing is, somehow the feeling of missing her has become a norm, like i'm immune to it. tsk, tsk. life and it's funny way of turning out!

anyway, after lunch i met guna for a movie. we caught 'little men' and i laughed till the walls of my stomach hurt like crazy. for a moment, i thought i even snorted. it was funny, really in a perverse and warped sorta way. much needed stress-reliever, that movie.

most of sunday afternoon and early evening was spent in queenstown library with guna. he had his exams coming up and me, truckloads of tests so we decided to mug together. you know, a form of consolation that you're not the only one suffering and there is someone who is going through the same thing? haha. i am such a meanie! anyway, those 4 hours in the library was very productive and studying with guna really made studying all the more fun. i've never done it before and never believed that studying with your boyfriend will do you any good cos we'll probably end up goofing around but it wasn't the case on sunday. i'm so proud of both guna and myself! yay! we're such disciplined students!

i was brain-dead from all that studying and needed a break so after guna left, i went over to my cousin's house to visit the 2 favourite little ones of my family, keegan and dylan. dylan is just ssssooooo cute la! i wish he was mine, really! and keegan is way too smart for his age. the questions he asks and the informations he shares with me, his err not-so-smart-aunty makes me cringe in embarrasment. he was actually shooting me with the fact file of an arwana (u know, the fish?) and all i cld do was listen intently and watch in fascination. he's only 5! now i'm really wondering how my kids are gonne turn out like! haha! anyway, keegan badly wanted me to bring him to ikea but since it was raining, anni (sister-in-law in tamil) said he couldn't so i've promised to bring him this weekend. hopefully the weather is better, then we can all go to ikea for some family shopping! how fun!!

kids, i absolutely LOVE!

and i hope dylan's eyes gets better. it pains to see the little kid like that. sigh.

2006-09-08T21:30:00.000+08:00

the devil wears prada. nice, nice movie. went to catch it with vicky!! haven't met that pandi in weeks, two to be exact but after seeing someone for practically everyday two weeks of absence feels like abstinence. haha. missed her, missed her nonsense man but most importantly, missed her 'sajeetha, i will never find a boyfriend in this lifetime la. confirm will be left-on-the-shelf'' whines. hahaha, i'm so gonna get killed but babe, you know that in time to come your prince charming will come and sweep you off your feet like noone has ever done before. you don't have to look for it, it WILL come to you and at that time, we'd all probably be envious of you! heh. and it's great that your life has been a bed of roses without the intervention of the male species lately! yay! keep it going yea?! *tight, tight hug!*

we'd made a promise to one another that we'll meet less, talk less and concentrate more on school this term so as to achieve the desired GPA so that we can graduate with a first class honours and true to our words, we've been. we deserve a pat on our backs, don't you think vicky? i'm really glad that the going has started off in the right foot and as what they say, the start is always very important for the end and we've overcome that hurdle i hope. i swear i've never studied more this sem than any other sem's in my entire schooling life. haha. hopefully the other two, jay and kamini are doing good too so that when we reunite during the holidays we can genuinely let our hair down and paint the town red without having to worry about our results!

and i got my new pair of specs! that too, a gift from daddy which cost him a good $330 and i love it. very, very the nice leh, really. vicky saw it and said so too. so this mean, i am going to be switching from contacts to specs again and flaunt my oh-so-funky new specs! see, yet another reason why dad's THE best! now i've pretty much gotten most of the things in my wish list - that oh-so-gorgeous watch from espirit which my sister dearest got for my birthday, that really nice black converse bag which i bought under uma's influence, which of course i'm not regretting, the new pair of specs courtesy of dad, a new wallet bought by radhiyah and dee for my birthday and the crumpler which guna'll be getting for me next week! yay! now i'm left with the i-pod nano, new birks, the NUM jersey and that digital camera! i'm such a spoilt child aren't i? no la, i'm going to save money and it get it by myself k!!

alright, am gonna keep mum company. she's watching tv by herself, i shall go disturb her. haha, i love doing that. have a great weekend ya'll! till later..

2006-09-08T21:11:00.000+08:00

- my knight in shining armour and his damsel in distress. haha. nah, he's my MY BEST FRIEND, MY SPECIAL MAN, above all my dad. i love him ttttttttttttoooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeeeeesssssssss!!!! -

2006-09-08T12:28:00.000+08:00

cheers to another friday! yay! i love fridays for 2 reasons - one, because i've got no classes on that day and two, simply because it's the end of that tiresome week. heh.

something really bitter and nasty happened on wednesday. remember i mentioned i stopped tutoring for one of my tuition kid, kevin? well, his parents owe me outstanding tuition fees of $360 and were supposed to pay in mid-august itself. but due to some unexplainable reasons, the father told me to bear with him a little longer and that'll he'll pay up by the 5th of this month (sept). not wanting to seem like some unreasonable, greedy person i said ok. and the 5th came but there was no message or call from him regarding the payment so i messaged the wife (since i usually alias only with her). that bloody woman totally disregarded my sms, refused to pick up my calls and neither did she return back the ones she missed. total moron. typical indian dickhead metality. shying away from payment, pretending to be ignorant, thinking that after awhile i'll get sick of asking them to pay and give up. well, too bad for those assholes i'm not going to stop till i get my pay. the one i spent time travelling, utilizing my energy after a hard day at sch, the one i sacrifice my social life for to earn. no way. i have had enough of these disgusting indian families cheating me off my money.

and so the following day, i messaged her back again this time a little more firmly but definitely not rudely.

me: hi. i am assuming you do not have a habit of replying back to messages? i asked abt my outstanding fees. i was told by your husband that it'll be settled by the 5th and today is already the 6th but there has been no calls nor msg from either one of you. maybe the least you cld do out of basic courtesy is to inform me instead of being ignorant. if u can't transfer it to my acct as i said yesterday in my message, i can come over to collect my pay. thank you.

reply: (from the wife's hp number) hello, i heard u said my wife has got no manners. can u pls mind your words. don't need to be so rude. i will pay you on the 9th. next time, you better be more courteous. it's better for you. and how can my wife message you when i was having her hp? so don't anyhow say.

that's it. such a fucking asshole. i was totally fuming mad. here you are, owing someone 2 freaking months of outstanding tuition fees and you talk as though i owed u a bloody living! wa lau, preposterous!!! and when the hell did i say his moron of a wife was rude, i merely stated that she shld have called out of courtesy. pig face! argh! and so i retaliated, rather annoyed this time ard. that dog asked for it, i swear!

me: excuse me! mind your words and don't you use such language with me. i'm not your wife nor do u have any rights over me. pls re-read my message throughly and absorb the meaning before you throw ur words. i am assuming u have a rather weak grasp of the english language cos u seem to have misunderstood my meaning. anyway, i messaged ur wife last night. not today when u are having her phone and even if u are having it, aren't u her husband? don't u back home to her? i am sure u wld have conveyed the message. if u don't wanna deal with me, by all means just pass the money to my aunty (they are neighbours with my aunt) and i'll take it from her. i don't think i want to have anything to do with you or your family ever!

reply: firstly, stop lying. you never messaged my wife regarding the pay. and secondly, you need not have doubts if i am her husband. i am. don't manipulate the messages and stop asking me to reread my english. i know what i sent you and what i read. it's not as though i am going to run away with your money. i will just give it to u when i feel like it (such a fucker, right?) and look here, i am not the ignorant type!!

ok, by this time i've already snapped. not being able to take it any longer, i called my dad. i had already told him abt this rather disgusting family before and how i stopped tuition because something abt their house gave me this sleazy vibes and everytime i went over, there were some strange looking men in the house with tattoos all over which majorly freaked me out. anyway, i told dad what happened from the start and dad asked me to stop messaging him and ask me to tell that fellow to call dad instead. he'll settle it for me. and so i did but not before i said some nasty things further. i had to satisfy my anger, didn't i?

me: loser, get a life. aren't you ashamed of youself? you are so childish. you're a 30-0dd year old man and here you are arguing with a 22 yr old student. haha, so freaking childish! and for your information, do u think i seriously care if u're her husband or if she is your wife or if the both of you are having an affair? that's none of my bloody business! and look here, i do not gain anything by lying that i messaged you regarding the pay. i think you and your family are a bunch of liars, maybe that's why you think that everyone else ard are as low-lying as you. sadly, i am bred in a much dignified manner than you thus i'm very sorry to have disappointed you! anyway, i have told my dad abt your nonsense and he has asked me to stop aliasing with you. if you have the guts, call him. he'll settle the matter with you. this is is number 9*******. and if u dare to message another time, u be assured that'll lodge a complaint against you for harrasment. don't try me and don't think u'll intimidate me because u're older. good bye!

argh, just typing the incident out makes my blood boil!! and that was it. that tamilan dickhead didn't msg me back but had apparently called dad. dad told me that he promised to pay me by the 9th ad he actually apologised to dad for calling me a liar and all cos after all, the msg that i sent him was stored in my sent items. who was he kidding?! i dun know exactly how it went cos dad didn't say much but one thing he did - "sajeetha, this is life. there are so many con-man out there and though it's been a bitter experience, i'm glad u've come across such things cos it'll make u realise that life isn't all that fair and just. isn't all that easy. this is only one incident. there is so much more in life to learn".

how right, he was. this incident was really a culture-shock to me, how people twist and turn their words, try to cheat people and can even act as though they are in the right when they are absolutely not. not a single ounce of integrity.

but that was not what i wanted to highlight in this entry. the fact that i run to my dad each time i had a problem, it made me think. you see how he's my pillar of strength. dad is the only one i know who will NEVER let me down, NEVER let me stumble and even if i did, he'll be there to pick me up. and he's the one man i know will always be there for me and it's only because of him that i even have the courage to embrace life and it's challenges cos at the back of my heart and mind i know that he'll be there to catch me when i fall. like u know, he's my strength. he always has the answers. i really don't know how to put it explicitly in words but i'm sure you get my point. but what scares me, when he is gone one day, what happens then?

my whole world will be crushed. and sometimes i think i'll literally die the next moment, he leaves the world. i cannot imagine a life w/o him. and that's the ultimate truth. maybe my future husband might try and take his place but the problem is, i don't want anyone to take his place nor will i allow anyone to. it's dad and only dad who can be my special man.

this sucks. i am crying as i write this post. i don't even know why. all i know is - my dad. my knight in shining armour.

2006-09-08T12:26:00.000+08:00

- and more, courtesy of mister gunaraj -

2006-09-08T12:25:00.000+08:00

- i really didn't wanna pose but the boyfriend was so adamant la. and worse, he refused to posde with me cos he said he was better at taking photos then posing for them. hmpf! -

2006-09-08T12:19:00.000+08:00

- a summary of some of the planes we saw at the 'RSAF Open House 2006' at Paya Lebar Air Base. It was rather educational, for a total aeroplane idiot like me. haha -

2006-09-07T12:19:00.000+08:00

- the rest of the day was spent bikini-shopping, just shopping, self-pampering and lotsa cam-whoring. i want more, more, more! -

2006-09-07T12:13:00.000+08:00

- the look of horror! i would have never posted this on a normal day cos it's so unglam but i thought, what the hell. at least u can see for yourself just how shocked i was! hehe. it was jeanette's turn later! -

2006-09-07T12:09:00.000+08:00

- yes, the madness that came with opening the presents. only they can come with such nonsense i tell you. and of all places, i had to open it in a public place. imagine my horror! -

2006-09-07T12:07:00.000+08:00

- this was not at all intended. i was totally enjoying my food and happened to look up when lynette took that look-at-me-i-am-a-glutton pic! i must say, she knows when to take the best candid photos.haha -

2006-09-07T12:05:00.000+08:00

- the very first program on the agenda that day; doing what we love best - PIGGING OUT! the food was oh-so-delicious! -

2006-09-05T21:11:00.000+08:00

phew! i've finally gotten some time in my hands to blog. i really need some time, even if it's a few minutes, to do my own personal stuffs, blogging included. heh.

let's see. last friday was so much fun. the sim gang had planned a post-birthday lunch for me, in the name of shopping but unfortunately, only jeanette, hongyan, lynette and myself cld make it. i mean, how cld i not? i was the VIP anyway, wasn't i lynette? hehe. nevertheless it was such a fun-filled day. i thought i was THE shopping queen but on friday, i realised i wasn't anywhere close as compared to lynn! and the highlight of the day? the birthday presents! wld you believe it if i told you that these gundus wrapped the presents in between a PAD? yes, a PAD, those that females use when they menstruate. i am 100% sure that it's solely lynette's idea! i was so shocked when i saw it, you have no idea how much. surely a memorable birthday. haha.

and the MANICURE session! i think i was the only one among the 3 who has ever had a manicure done and answering their most clueless questions abt it was hilarious. if only hongyan and lynn had more time to spare, all of us cld have gotten one done. jean's was as pretty as mine. hee! i truly had a wonderful time that friday. i take back my words. i love sim and i'm gonna miss every single thing abt it, especially the people when i leave but i do hope the bond that we have fostered over these 2 years will be here to stay. especially with hongyan and lynn. i mean we all know i'm closest to the two. and u both, if you are reading this entry - I DO NOT HATE JEANETTE! -

i am waiting for another outing with the gang in october, during the 3 week study break. i've been wanting to go to either 1, rochester or giraffe for a long, long time and what cld be better than going with a bunch of monkeys? hehe. well, so much for a friday.

saturday was mostly spent at home, except for the morning and the earlier part of the afternoon where i was over at guna's place. his aunt had asked me to fetch her kids (2 of them, a boy and a girl) from her place and bring them over to guna's place to baby-sit them for a few hours since she had to attend to an emergency, which i apprently did. guna's aunt just lived a few blocks away from him so i met the kids below their block at 10am, bought breakfast from macdonalds for them, guna and myself afterwhich we walked to his house. the mum had passed an extra key to me the day before, so we had no problem going in. guna's parents were at work and he was still asleep. not wanting to disturb him i got the kids to settle down and made sure they finished their breakfast when i got a call from guna. this was so funny - he said the usual good morning and went on to ask me where i was. i told him to come out from his room and yes, he was pleasantly surprised. we had breakfast together while the kids watched tv. after breakfast, the kids wanted to play monopoly so i joined them while he went to continue with his assignment. when the kids got tired of monopoly, i got them to do their homework, helping them along the way when his mum came back from work. we chatted for awhile, had lunch and i took my leave shortly.

it was such a simple day yet it just felt so good. it felt like we were married and in 5-10 years time, this will probably be what we'll be doing but i didn't let my thoughts run wild. i've learnt from my first relationsip never to plan or build dreams in advance cos if they don't materialise, all you'll feel is heartbreak so i stopped myself from wishing for anything. i was contented with today and today is all i'm willing myself to dream about.

well, sunday was yet another beautiful day spent with him. the plan to meet was rather random and sudden since it has never been a habit for us to meet on sundays for i've strictly allocated it for my family and family alone. he knows it too but i guess this had a purpose. the night before, on saturday, he messaged to ask if i would like to follow him for the 'RASF Open House'. rather interesting. i've always wanted to watch the ariel displays, where the pliots perform some stunts with their planes but never got a chance to so this was really tempting and knowing guna's passion for the 'metallic birds', i knew my presence wld mean a great deal. so i said yes.

and i'm glad that i did cos it was so educational and entertaining. this was definitely out of the normal range of activities i usually did and i didn't think i would have loved it as much as i really did. the weather was terrible and there were a whole lot of people squashed into that air base yet i didn't feel like leaving at all. the noise, crowd and heat only added to the excitement. i took a lot of pictures but not with the pilots or a specific plane simply because the queue was so damn long. oh well, at least i had fun. that's the ultimate issue for me.

after the open house that day, i learnt alot about guna's work and his job scope. i learnt the fundamentals of being an aviation specialist. that's his vocation and trust me, it's not all that easy. now i'm able to understand why he always says he's tired, why he needs to get his 8-9 hours of sleep, why he hangs up on me earlier, why he seems spaced out most of the weekdays, why he's so dark these days (mean, i know but it's the truth), why he seems grouchy and irritable certain times, why he snaps for no reason at all and why he's always busy. if only he had explained it to me earlier, i wld have empathised with his situation. i wld have realised that he did all that he did not because he wanted to but simply because he had to. but i'm glad i got to know it at least now. as they say, it's better late then never right? now, i am able to appreciate the things he does for me, much more. he doesn't have to meet me on weekdays, after work when he cld go home and rest yet he does. he doesn't need to send me to the mrt station after tuition though it's only 6 minutes away from the kid's place and even if he does come, it's only going to be for a good 15 min cos i'll have to be home yet he does. he doesn't have to but he does. to him, seeing me for that mere 15 min was important. earlier, it didn't make sense but now it does. i cld go on listing a few more examples but i'm sure it'll bore you so i'll stop. but the real issue here is - i was so keen on wanting to see big changes, surprises and appreciation that i became ignorant to the smaller ones. the ones that really mattered. the ones that really had value. the ones that contained the subtlety of love.

i love him. really.
and i feel really bad for saying all the things i've said to him in a fit of anger before.
i was so unappreciative yet i kept complaining that he never appreciated me or my presence.
i whined that he never took the efforts to make me feel important when all along, it was me who reagarded him as unimportant.
shame on me.

the trip on sunday opened my eyes big.
and big they'll remain.
and for my readers, here's a word of advice; never disregard the little gestures or actions of a loved one for they might have so much of love embedded in them. you just never knew. look harder, you might not be able to see it but u will feel it...

think abt this - you have a boyfriend who buys you roses everyday, bring you to posh restaurants for dinner, buys you expensive presents but at the end of the day, you find out he's been cheating you with your best friend?
on the other hand, you have a boyfriend who is always busy with work, has not much time for you, doesn't always surprise you, buys you expensive gifts or brings you to expensive restaurants for dinner but you are his world..

which is your pick?
you decide.
it's your life after all.

much love, sajeetha.

2006-08-30T23:27:00.000+08:00

am in my dad's car as i type this entry. yes, i bring my laptop almost everywhere these days. it has become an integral part of my life since i have got assignments up to my neck. we're on our way for dinner actually and i thought i might as well use this opportunity to blog since i'm not at all motivated to start on the next assignment. haha.

did i mention that i love morning lectures? it gives me ample time to my own things for the rest of that day and that is precisely why i attended the morning lecture for 'ethics and governance' today. it is my second time and i'm thinking of making it a weekly affair. and i love my marketing group members who are from the 'A' class, which means i have company and this makes it all the more easier to decide. claire, a fellow friend totally reminds me of lynette except tt lynette is funy in a 'digusting sorta' way when she opens her big mouth to show us her half chewed food (if you're going eeeewwww, let me tell you that there's more but i'd rather spare you the details. haha) and claire is funny in a peverse sorta way. pls don't ask me for examples, i was laughing the whole of lecture today.

anyway, school's been great so far. leadership & mgt assignment is due this friday and 99% of it has been done. this is the very first time, in my 2 years of school that we've finished an assignment way ahead of submission day. i'm so proud of ourselves. human resource is well on the way, revision for marketing quiz/test has been started though not quite intensive but i'm sure i'll catch up and i've pretty much successfully kept to the schedule i've written for the whole month. i ought to give myself a pat on the back *grinz*

as for my exercise regime, i'm still sticking to it. can't believe it myself but yes. i've hit the gym twice this week and went for a good swim last night and trust me, i've never felt better and i've come to a point where i don't really care if i'm fat anymore but what's more important is that i feel good and am healthy. of course, it would be a bonus if i shed some pounds here and there but this is me, and i'm comfortable with who i am. i wonder what brought about this change. i feel like i'm finally living my life to the fullest cos i'm always running around, doing something, teaching someone, reading up on something and that gives me this strange sense of self-satisfaction but when the going gets tougher, there are times i wish i could lessen the pace and stop to smell the flowers. hmmm, oh well i'll take it as it comes. for now, life is good.

i went to do some shopping after school today. ok, it's not really shopping but rather collect a lot of free stuff from various places cos i received vouchers from all over for my birthday and i hadn't redeemed them yet. it was already the 30th and the vouchers were only valid for the month of august so i thought i might as well do some running ard today. i got myself a body butter and a vitamin e eye cream from the body shop at just $15! what a steal! the usual would have been $60! and a nice pendent from perlini's silver, discounted at 50%, two outfitter tops at only $25 when it's actually supposed to be $50, a white denim skirt (which i was looking all over singapore for and finally found it) at $25 with the money mum gave me for my birthday and along the way, got guna 2 t-shirts as well! i was about to go down to west mall, to get my new pair of specs done when mum called to ask if i was joining them for dinner so i have it left it for tomorrow. yay! it was so fun and i did this all alone, by myself. some me-time sure is good, every once in a while!

tomorrow is yet another day. a long one since classes are from 7-10 and i have got a tuition before that BUT it's also the last day of the week for me! yay! how fast time flies eh? it seemed like monday only yesterday. soon before i know it, it'll be the exams and finally the holidays! that's not so bad after all, is it?

i better be off now. need to catch up on some reading. till, i see ya again muacks!

2006-08-29T02:06:00.000+08:00

- and this, on sunday at sentosa. u can see that we were on an animal hunt, right? of all things, that! -