prologue

Name: Sajeetha
life is for living, need i say more?

*loves:
the family, him, them; my friends
anything arty farty, the literary arts, theatre
dolphins
travelling, always unfolding something new
dining in places with ambience to kill for (it's a hobby.hah)
r etail therapy
all things indian
enlightening conversations
candles
angels, fairie,pixies, gnomes, smurfs(br>

*loathes:
the one who stabs u in ur back
death of dear ones
all that flies or has wings
the complications of all types of relationships
not knowing
those who try so hard to be me

red/purple crumpler bag
new urban male jersey
new birks
that oh-so-gorgeous watch from esprit
that beautiful converse bag
a white i-pod nano
that new dgital camera which screams buy-me!
the bikini from billabong
a new pair of funky spectacles
truckloads of best-selling novels
a whole new art materials collection
a new wallet that fits the enormous card collection of mine

nady,the sweetie pie
vicky, the blur sotong
charlotte,the doctor in the making
sivanes, the smart-ass cuzzin
LV, the gorgeous pearly
sarah, the clubbing chica
sujatha, the indian actress look alike
nadia ameera, the lost pri sch mate who was found
lynette, the sports fanatic
hemma, the evil twin
vanessa, popular for all the wrong reasons

express

 

Foto Decadent
 

July 2005[x] August 2005[x] September 2005[x] October 2005[x] November 2005[x] December 2005[x] February 2006[x] March 2006[x] April 2006[x] May 2006[x] June 2006[x] July 2006[x] August 2006[x] September 2006[x] October 2006[x] November 2006[x] December 2006[x] January 2007[x]

friend: hi gal, how are you?

me: (pleasantly surprised to hear from a friend) hey, what a surprise. i'm fine, and u?

friend: i'm doing gd gal. anyway, i wanted to ask if u wld be willing to buy a donation booklet from me. it's only 10 bucks and i'm sure it's nothing to you, so cld u do me a favour? / i'm dancing for this competition, cld u gather a few friends and get tickets to support me? / hey, it's my gf or bf's birthday,can u help me design a card and make a nice present for me / it's our 1st yr aniversary, can u give me ideas on what to do etc..

me: erm, ya ok. i'll let you know abt it soon.

friend: ok, thanks gal. that's why i called.

OR

friend: hey xyz, meet my friend sajeetha.

me: hi, nice to meet you.

xyz: hello, nice to meet you too.

friend: eh, u remember i told u i had a friend whose father has a brazilian restaurant? this is the one la.

xyz: oh, this one ah? wah, he told me all abt you yada, yada, yada.

me: oh, cut the crap!
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i hate it. i hate the fact a simple call had a hidden agenda behind it. some sad cases wld include, as mentioned earlier, buying something form somebody, making something for someone's partner, borrowing my ideas, shoes, clothes, bags and what not but most of the times,when it has something to do with buying (involving money) cos apparently i was known to be the one who cld afford cos the dad works in 'the singapore mint'. oh and the disgusting ones wld be getting me to introduce some hot friend of mine or even worse, my sister. geez! and when i can't and won't comply, i'm almost as good as dead.

all my life, this was how i was treated. thankfully, not by all but by some i had deemed to be my true friends. i was important only because i cld provide or be of use to somebody or simply because my name had a status attached to it; the girl whose dad owned the popular brazilian restaurant off 6th avenue.

this brings me to my next question; if i was never the girl whose father owned a restaurant, if i was nvr the girl whose father drove a lexus, if i was nvr the girl who lived in a condo, if i was nvr the girl who had those hot friends or the pretty sister, if i was nvr the girl who lived the life that many envied, would they still then be proud to associate themselves with me for the simple fact that i was a nice girl with a good heart? would they then be friend for all that i wasn't?

my answer: i don't really know.

i remember a conversation with a friend on my birthday last year. right after his birthday greetings, he went on to ask if my father was going to get me a jet plane or a sports car as my birthday gift. i said neither and went on to say, why not since i was SO rich. at this point in time, i need to get some things straight! who in the blue world decided that i was SO rich? what do you mean by SO rich anyway? are u my personal accountant? so under what grounds do u declare that i am SO rich?! it cld have been a joke, but i was rather annoyed at the tone the msg was conveyed. these pple make it seem so easy but they had no idea and i mean, ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA just how hard my dad works to give us the best. he's certainly not one of those arses out there who simply inherit millions of dollars from their fathers or forefather, sit at home, shaking legs and clinking wine glasses while spending like a duke! he works day and night, slogs even harder than a automated machine just to pay the bills and all other expenses that comes together with living an above-average lifestyle. probably that's his idea of best so he tries with all his might to make ends meet so that he cld provide his family with only the best.

it's NOT easy and it NEVER was and neither is it going to be so don't make it seem like it is cos if it was then everyone of us out there would be living like kings and queens, won't we? but that's not the case, is it?

to all those assholes whom i refuse to buy a donation booklet from, to those misers who expect me to pay first for lunch or dinner because you hadn't withdrawn ur cash from thr atm and then conveniently forget to pay me back because you think a meagre ten or twenty dollars would not make a difference to me cos i was SO rich and when i do ask you back for the money, you call me a stingy bitch i'll personally slap your face. if it was that meagre, why don't you just pay for it then? or why don't we do that to you and see if u feel the same way still. the money's not even mine to begin with, it's my dad's, his hard earned money and it's not within my discretion to spend it as i wish . it's entirely up to him to decide on he thinks we are supposed to spend it and i reserve ALL the rights to help him save.. for those of you who have a problem, you can f*** off. i wouldn't care less.

(someone, anyone has anniyan's hotline? i need to inform him of the atrocities that's happening around me?)

you know how during spring cleaning, some of us discard our old clothes that just don't fit us well anymore, books that have turned yellowish over the years, furniture which are falling apart, things that we have grown uncomfortable or uneasy with and replace them with things that might be of better use? well,that's exactly what i've been doing. spring cleaning; discarding people whom i've become uncomfortable with, people who make me feel uneasy with their presence, those with false pretense or superficial ideas.. they have to go... i'm sure they'll be no regrets.

i spoke to dad abt my feelings on this issue. dad thinks i'm growing up and that i'm not naive as i used to be anymore. he's glad that i'm now able to spot a wolf in sheep's clothing all by myself without him having to come to my rescue all the time. as for me, i've learnt there's still so much more to learn in life and that as you grow up, you come to terms that from a huge group of friends you'll only be left with a handful but those who'll stay by your side,not for all that you are but for all that you are not.

i've learnt that the hard way.

for now, i'm contented with having my amazing family and a few loved ones by my side to help me preserve my sanity and keep my feet planted firmly to the ground..

love; sajeetha

Wednesday, January 24, 2007
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