prologue

Name: Sajeetha
life is for living, need i say more?

*loves:
the family, him, them; my friends
anything arty farty, the literary arts, theatre
dolphins
travelling, always unfolding something new
dining in places with ambience to kill for (it's a hobby.hah)
r etail therapy
all things indian
enlightening conversations
candles
angels, fairie,pixies, gnomes, smurfs(br>

*loathes:
the one who stabs u in ur back
death of dear ones
all that flies or has wings
the complications of all types of relationships
not knowing
those who try so hard to be me

red/purple crumpler bag
new urban male jersey
new birks
that oh-so-gorgeous watch from esprit
that beautiful converse bag
a white i-pod nano
that new dgital camera which screams buy-me!
the bikini from billabong
a new pair of funky spectacles
truckloads of best-selling novels
a whole new art materials collection
a new wallet that fits the enormous card collection of mine

nady,the sweetie pie
vicky, the blur sotong
charlotte,the doctor in the making
sivanes, the smart-ass cuzzin
LV, the gorgeous pearly
sarah, the clubbing chica
sujatha, the indian actress look alike
nadia ameera, the lost pri sch mate who was found
lynette, the sports fanatic
hemma, the evil twin
vanessa, popular for all the wrong reasons

express

 

Foto Decadent
 

July 2005[x] August 2005[x] September 2005[x] October 2005[x] November 2005[x] December 2005[x] February 2006[x] March 2006[x] April 2006[x] May 2006[x] June 2006[x] July 2006[x] August 2006[x] September 2006[x] October 2006[x] November 2006[x] December 2006[x] January 2007[x]

and so i'm here after a long hiatus. what better way to start the new year then blogging eh? have i mentioned, that in my never-ending list of new year resolutions, prompt updating of blog entries have topped the list? haha.

first things first - happy new year everyone! here's a toast to yet another round of 365 days! cheers!

so much has happened in this holidays; lots of going out and catching up that i can't even remember most of them now but they were all worthwhile. i see that i last stopped my entry towards the last days of november. this means i have got a whole month of updating to do, which i just might but maybe not now. later, bit by bit, segmented into several entries.

the last week of november was spent rock climbing with lynette, which was an exhilarating experience if i say so myself. the surprising part abt this whole adventure was the fact that i loved it and was actually looking forward to more of such climbing sessions. i was never a sporty person tho i have been a school netballer ever since i was primary 4. that was abt the only sport i thought i was good at and had a knack for. netball gave me this adrenaline rush that no other sport had to offer and it gave me this sense of satisfaction i've nvr felt before but that too was short lived. i never continued with it in poly except for the occasional games we played during inter-class matches or for ics.

then i started growing up, and like any other teen/pre-adult i was self-concious abt my size and stopped getting myself involved in any type of sports altogether. being big, i always had to wonder what people will say abt my thighs if i wore shorts, what they'll say abt my fat arms or my bulging tummy or even my breasts when i jump. it was too torturous to even imagine. so, the easiest way out was simply to draw myself back and do what i just do best; be a normal, typical girl.

yes, there have been pangs of wanting to run, scream and play ball and win but my inferiority complex got the better of me and i quietly walked away from all that i loved. i had a low-self esteem though i had refused to admit it. who does, anyway?

but all that came to an end and got thrown away after my break-up with senthil. the break-up had caused me to lose a good 8kg without any effort on my part; i thought i ate normal and dined normal but somehow nothing seemed to stay in the body. i simply kept on losing the kilos and before i knew it, people who hardly noticed me started asking me if i had lost wieght. random aquaintances paid compliments and yes, for awhile i was concurrently seeing 4 men. well, not dating all 4 of them at the same time, but i had the choice to pick one out of the 4 in the course of getting to know them all. and none of them, i had gone after. that sure feels good.

in spite of the new found attention, nothing was allowed to get to my head. my feet was rooted firmly to the ground and i insisted, i was going to be the same old me, safeguarding the same old principles. although, the attention was overwhelming and choosing the most good looking one was at one point of time the priority, i still sat back to give it a thought and ended up choosing the one who'd been there with me throughout the times when i had been a fat, not-at-all good looking ugly duckling. the one who was attracted me even before what i was now. no prizes for guessing who though. yes, it's the very same person i am with now.

and that's when i realised that size really does not matter. it's really not abt what u are but who u were inside and that people can still love/like you regardless of the shape u came in. and this was the turning point in my life; in my outlook of the activities i got myself involved in.

this simple lesson shaped who i am now. i have, since my break up (which marks my 2nd yr, this 2007) have put on some of the weight i had shed earlier but that doesn't stop me from living my life. these days, i exercise on a regular basis, attempt to eat healthy and indulge in the finer things in life. i hit the gym, i run, i kayak, i rock-climb, i ice-skate, i bowl, i skip, i dance and none of these are done in the attempt to lose weight or look good but only because it makes me feel healthy and makes me feel good. no more low-self esteem, no more inferiority complex (yes, i admit to being a little self-concious every now and then but then again, i'm a girl and we all do allow ourselves to succumb to such thoughts every once in a while. i'm guessing that shld be fine).

if u ask me how 2006 has impacted my life, i'll tell you that it has taught me to beome a better, confident, bright young woman. and i have never been more proud. but before u think i've done it all by myself, i need to let you know that there was no way i cld have done it alone. i needed my pillars of support;

vicky - for always paying me compliments when she thinks i deserve it, for accompanying me to the gym almost every single day, for waking me up early in the morning so that i can be allowed to be dragged to macritchie for a run and for always being there as an inspiration.

lynette - for telling me that size was never a barrier to do what you love, for always being brutally honest with her opinions and views when asked, for dragging me along to some of the things i never thought i would have bothered to try (eg; kayaking, rock-climbing etc), for being the responsible one who messages everyone asking them to be in their sports attire so that we cld hop over to ngee ann poly for a run after lessons, for always taking the time and initiative in organising eventful activities for us to be involved in, for always helping us learn something new, for repeatedly telling us how much of calories we are consuming each time we eat something sinful (that cld be a pain at times though but the guilt treatment works. hah) and for teaching us to share our food. you're loved woman!

guna - for never asking me to lose weight and if i said i wanted to, for saying it should only be related to health and not something superficial like looking sexy/beautiful/pretty/etc, for always being supportive and never doubting my efforts or intentions, for loving me for who i am and not the outlook and above all, for just allowing myself to be me.

senthil - for asking me out for jogs, for advising me on how to lose weight in an efficient manner, for paying relevant compliments if slight weight loss was noticed and for being my new-found best friend. whoever said, ex boyfriends are jerks?! i guess i'm one lucky girl.

my parents - dad, for his constructive criticisms tho they hurt at times but i know he was doing it in the name of love and mum, for accompanying me to the gym, for incorporating fruits and vegetables into my diet tho i used to show faces at her for torturing me, for skipping dinner together with me so that i'll not be the only one at home starving ; i love them!

it's not like i have lost 20kg or something for me to give out sucha a speech but i believe i'm come a long way from what i was a good 2 years ago and like i mentioned earlier, i'm proud of myself. there's a long way to go, i know but the baby steps should always be encouraged, shouldn't they? so, thank you guys for helping me be who i am. couldn't have done it without you guys and for those i've not mentioned, it doesn't mean ur little advices and encouragements are not treasured. they truly are.

- muacks -

Thursday, January 04, 2007
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