prologue

Name: Sajeetha
life is for living, need i say more?

*loves:
the family, him, them; my friends
anything arty farty, the literary arts, theatre
dolphins
travelling, always unfolding something new
dining in places with ambience to kill for (it's a hobby.hah)
r etail therapy
all things indian
enlightening conversations
candles
angels, fairie,pixies, gnomes, smurfs(br>

*loathes:
the one who stabs u in ur back
death of dear ones
all that flies or has wings
the complications of all types of relationships
not knowing
those who try so hard to be me

red/purple crumpler bag
new urban male jersey
new birks
that oh-so-gorgeous watch from esprit
that beautiful converse bag
a white i-pod nano
that new dgital camera which screams buy-me!
the bikini from billabong
a new pair of funky spectacles
truckloads of best-selling novels
a whole new art materials collection
a new wallet that fits the enormous card collection of mine

nady,the sweetie pie
vicky, the blur sotong
charlotte,the doctor in the making
sivanes, the smart-ass cuzzin
LV, the gorgeous pearly
sarah, the clubbing chica
sujatha, the indian actress look alike
nadia ameera, the lost pri sch mate who was found
lynette, the sports fanatic
hemma, the evil twin
vanessa, popular for all the wrong reasons

express

 

Foto Decadent
 

July 2005[x] August 2005[x] September 2005[x] October 2005[x] November 2005[x] December 2005[x] February 2006[x] March 2006[x] April 2006[x] May 2006[x] June 2006[x] July 2006[x] August 2006[x] September 2006[x] October 2006[x] November 2006[x] December 2006[x] January 2007[x]

as i was on the phone with guna yesterday, i realised that all he said was nothing but the truth. that i am being made use of and i'm allowing myself to be manipulated, despite being fully aware of it. and he thinks i'm a fool for that. yep, that's right. he said it, flat on my face. and i can't help but feel that it's true. why do i keep doing it despite repeated pleadings from close friends? argh! i just have a problem saying no and it's getting a bit too difficult to deal with. and vicky, if u are reading this u're probably waiting to knock my head, i know. u can do that the next time u see me aight?

u see, i'm fairly good in my art and craft and i must say, i am able to churn out quite a fair bit of very creative ideas, be it for a birthday surprise, v'day rendevous, xmas - u name it, i might actually have an idea up my sleeves on how you can make it a lil more special for your loved ones and most of friends, especially those from poly are aware of it. and besides that, i am handy in my art as well. i make cards for all occasion in the least typical way, most of which that are highly personalised and also crafts like, styrofoam alphabets and cartoons; u know those kind they use for birthday parties? i had orders coming in for v'day from my friends to make a gift for their boyfriends and there was a year where i ended up rushing 'orders' that i totally forget to do something for senthil. and mind you, i was NOT being paid. it was all done out of goodwill. yep, so u get the point.

so what has all these have got to do with my being a fool. i'm coming there. u see, i've got this friend in poly. let's call her x (how typical.hah). x and i were pretty close during our poly times, u know the type of friends who hang out quite often, go over to one another's place, talk thru the nights, confide in one another, seek advice for relationships and such? yes, we were rather close but over time, x changed. from the simple girl she was, she become someone else. for the better or worse i don't know but she had new groups of friends, was a committee member of some society in sch, dressed better and spoke better too and soon, i was a distant memory. i missed the times we shared but i told myself that's what happens when people become a somebody in society, they forget their past and so i consoled myself and just moved on. after all, like i've mentioned religiously, isn't change the constant of life?

but of course, when we do see one another we give one another a hug and even spare some time to say a hi or a hello and that was how it was until recently. x needed help in organising a special outing for a special someone and she came to me. said she needed me to come up with an idea on how make that occasion special and also to help with finding the perfect gifts and card. i was rather skeptical at first but later, i told myself that what cld possibly be wrong in helping someone and putting my talents to good use. after that, x sent me constant sms-es, invited me out for dinner, acknowledged my presence in MSN, called my for casual chats but somehow they will always end up going back to how my progress was for the brilliant idea i was supposed to come up with for her! i was affected. so i was needed for my services, not my friendship.

but this is only one of the few occasions i have encountered such treatment. there have been so many more out there who have done this to me. repeatedly. and i keep allowing them to do it. they wld not have seen me in mths or have bothered to have enquired abt my well-being but when they needed my help, before u know it they're all over me. men and women, all the same. yes, i have guy friends doing the same too. sheesh!

really, i do not have a problem with helping people out. i've done stuff for radhiyah for her bf's birthday, i've helped anitha with her birthday decorations and guest board, i've done retna's birthday deco as well, jay's parties, kavitha's wedding, v;day presents for almost everyone's bfs.. after all, isn't it logical to express your talents but pls, do not find me only in times of need. that can be upsetting. i don't expect this behaviour out of everyone but certainly the ones i hold close to my heart..

but then again, they are only human. and isn't this what humans are good at doing? being selfish. how can i possibly ask for more. oh well, i'm just glad i've got those precious few who are genuine around me. people like vicky, shantini, radhiyah, deepa, sivan,diyana, anitha, punitha, yanxia, charlotte, lynette, hongyan, wicky boy, just to name a few.

now that i've got that out of my chest, i've decided to heed anitha, guna and vicky's advice. i should start charging people for my ideas and whatever else i provide them with; be it decorations, guest cards, or just event planning. that wld make more sense. so readers, if you have friends who need any 'occasion' planning (haha), pls let them know abt me aight and i'll see what i can do to help. this might just be a start to my future business plan. what do you say? *winks*

Wednesday, August 09, 2006
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