prologue

Name: Sajeetha
life is for living, need i say more?

*loves:
the family, him, them; my friends
anything arty farty, the literary arts, theatre
dolphins
travelling, always unfolding something new
dining in places with ambience to kill for (it's a hobby.hah)
r etail therapy
all things indian
enlightening conversations
candles
angels, fairie,pixies, gnomes, smurfs(br>

*loathes:
the one who stabs u in ur back
death of dear ones
all that flies or has wings
the complications of all types of relationships
not knowing
those who try so hard to be me

red/purple crumpler bag
new urban male jersey
new birks
that oh-so-gorgeous watch from esprit
that beautiful converse bag
a white i-pod nano
that new dgital camera which screams buy-me!
the bikini from billabong
a new pair of funky spectacles
truckloads of best-selling novels
a whole new art materials collection
a new wallet that fits the enormous card collection of mine

nady,the sweetie pie
vicky, the blur sotong
charlotte,the doctor in the making
sivanes, the smart-ass cuzzin
LV, the gorgeous pearly
sarah, the clubbing chica
sujatha, the indian actress look alike
nadia ameera, the lost pri sch mate who was found
lynette, the sports fanatic
hemma, the evil twin
vanessa, popular for all the wrong reasons

express

 

Foto Decadent
 

July 2005[x] August 2005[x] September 2005[x] October 2005[x] November 2005[x] December 2005[x] February 2006[x] March 2006[x] April 2006[x] May 2006[x] June 2006[x] July 2006[x] August 2006[x] September 2006[x] October 2006[x] November 2006[x] December 2006[x] January 2007[x]

ME.

I.am.ME.

Today was consumed mostly by gluttony and sloth. The two greater sins of my life, comparable to lust. The only productive thing I did while staring at the ceiling was drift into my subconscious. As I spiralled down, alot of useless thoughts floated by (thin or fat?).

I was, really, deep inside frustrated. The one thing that I needed was death. To float away into another world and snap photos of the journey. Haha. No, not too extreme. No death yet. I have yet to go ard the world, but I felt like I needed some sort of temporary relief. Something that will take me a little higher, make me light headed.I felt around at myself, the excess flesh at my hips, my waist. This is not me. This is not me. It is not me. I am not a sad, overweight girl in her young 22 years of age, missing out on the beginning of something good.

And I am not me, I haven't been me for a long time. I am ME! I wouldn't blame you for not understanding what I am talking about. I haven't been me.I have been weaned on loneliness, and grew on it. Yet it has become a fear embedded in me from watching too much sad movies of girls in need of love which men apparently aren't capable of. I am a seeker. A lover of choice. I observe people, not the news. I only care about what affects me. The war in Iraq doesn't affect me. Knowing the scientific name of okra doesn't affect me. Inside me, I am wild. No one can catch me but I am soft with my friends. I love them. I don't have a need for much. I have a want for much though. I am not Mother Theresa. I have never tried my best, but this is not me. I'll do anything to win. I'll let guilty people cheat, and not let people without a conscience off.

It works that way.

I have, for a long time, not been me. I need to be ME! I need to break free of this gross thing I am right now.

Sunday, April 09, 2006
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