prologue

Name: Sajeetha
life is for living, need i say more?

*loves:
the family, him, them; my friends
anything arty farty, the literary arts, theatre
dolphins
travelling, always unfolding something new
dining in places with ambience to kill for (it's a hobby.hah)
r etail therapy
all things indian
enlightening conversations
candles
angels, fairie,pixies, gnomes, smurfs(br>

*loathes:
the one who stabs u in ur back
death of dear ones
all that flies or has wings
the complications of all types of relationships
not knowing
those who try so hard to be me

red/purple crumpler bag
new urban male jersey
new birks
that oh-so-gorgeous watch from esprit
that beautiful converse bag
a white i-pod nano
that new dgital camera which screams buy-me!
the bikini from billabong
a new pair of funky spectacles
truckloads of best-selling novels
a whole new art materials collection
a new wallet that fits the enormous card collection of mine

nady,the sweetie pie
vicky, the blur sotong
charlotte,the doctor in the making
sivanes, the smart-ass cuzzin
LV, the gorgeous pearly
sarah, the clubbing chica
sujatha, the indian actress look alike
nadia ameera, the lost pri sch mate who was found
lynette, the sports fanatic
hemma, the evil twin
vanessa, popular for all the wrong reasons

express

 

Foto Decadent
 

July 2005[x] August 2005[x] September 2005[x] October 2005[x] November 2005[x] December 2005[x] February 2006[x] March 2006[x] April 2006[x] May 2006[x] June 2006[x] July 2006[x] August 2006[x] September 2006[x] October 2006[x] November 2006[x] December 2006[x] January 2007[x]

I'm having my first paper in less than 10 hours and try as i might, i can't seem to get to sleep. Anxiety attacks, i'm guessing. Oh well, instead of counting sheeps and staring right into space i thought i might as well do something productive - b.l.o.g!

I haven't been here in a long time after all. Revision, desperate attempts at sports and social events have kept me away for abt what, 2 weeks or so? I promise updates the moment my darn exams end aight? Wait up for my entries yea?

So this is just gonna be a shout out to all my faithful readers (i reckon i have some. oh, pls tell me i do) that i'm not gone and will be back again but not before i share my thoughts with you on something i pondered upon.

Read. Give it some thought, won't you? Might do you some good in life, or at least that's what i wish for. That one day, someone wld come up to me and say that 'hey, ur random ramblings made me look at life from a new angle altogether and i just wanna thank u for opening my eyes'. You know, something like that? Yup.

So here goes;

Why cry over spilled milk? Its dirty now, you can only mop it up, throw it away.I paid a thousand dollars for that bottle of milk. Now look at it. An empty bottle on the floor, with its vomit surrounding it. Some splashed on the walls, some on my feet.

Will it make me feel better to mop it up, clear it away? Won't I still think of the thousand dollars I spent on it?I have nothing to replace the milk. Now I have nothing to eat, nothing to drink. Now I'm going to go hungry.

I may not die, for tomorrow, I can work although for now I think its the end of the world.
I will always remember my carelessness, and what it has caused me to lose.
I might always cringe about it, and beat myself up for such carelessness.
I might never ever take another bottle of milk for granted anymore, even if I'd only have to pay a dollar for it because it is precious in my eyes.

For now, I can cry over that bottle of spilt milk. For now, my bones may ache and my eyes may be sore for all that I've done for it. But tomorrow, I will wake up with a hungry stomach and realise what I have to do.

The world doesn't stop turning when you shut down.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006
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ME.

I.am.ME.

Today was consumed mostly by gluttony and sloth. The two greater sins of my life, comparable to lust. The only productive thing I did while staring at the ceiling was drift into my subconscious. As I spiralled down, alot of useless thoughts floated by (thin or fat?).

I was, really, deep inside frustrated. The one thing that I needed was death. To float away into another world and snap photos of the journey. Haha. No, not too extreme. No death yet. I have yet to go ard the world, but I felt like I needed some sort of temporary relief. Something that will take me a little higher, make me light headed.I felt around at myself, the excess flesh at my hips, my waist. This is not me. This is not me. It is not me. I am not a sad, overweight girl in her young 22 years of age, missing out on the beginning of something good.

And I am not me, I haven't been me for a long time. I am ME! I wouldn't blame you for not understanding what I am talking about. I haven't been me.I have been weaned on loneliness, and grew on it. Yet it has become a fear embedded in me from watching too much sad movies of girls in need of love which men apparently aren't capable of. I am a seeker. A lover of choice. I observe people, not the news. I only care about what affects me. The war in Iraq doesn't affect me. Knowing the scientific name of okra doesn't affect me. Inside me, I am wild. No one can catch me but I am soft with my friends. I love them. I don't have a need for much. I have a want for much though. I am not Mother Theresa. I have never tried my best, but this is not me. I'll do anything to win. I'll let guilty people cheat, and not let people without a conscience off.

It works that way.

I have, for a long time, not been me. I need to be ME! I need to break free of this gross thing I am right now.

Sunday, April 09, 2006
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- Just when you need to use your damn mail to send important documents over, your account screws up on you. Damn technolgy! -

Sunday, April 09, 2006
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- yes, it's the man of the house's 50th! -

Sunday, April 09, 2006
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03.04.06

- Daddy turned the BIG 50! -

Yep, so it was dad's big day and since the real celebrations were on Saturday tog with sista's, we decided to settle for dinner on Monday. We headed down to Holland V to have north indian food @ this really good restaurant called Sharay Punjab (those who are adventurous in eating, this place is a must-try). Oh and we brought Premma (our really wonderful new maid) along with us and I am pretty sure she loved the food as much as we did.

We took quite a few pictures too, which I'll be posting up later so look out for it yea? Nothing big happened on that day actually, except that it's become a routine where we spend every member of the family's birthday together at the end of the day with dinner. We always have done so and will do so in time to come and though many may complain that 'I'd wanna spend the day with my friends or so & so' I'm pretty contented with ending my birthday by being with my dearest family. Nothing & noone else.

And this is how it has been,be it my day, my mum or even my sis. And this is how it's gonna be for a very long time.

- Once again, happy 50th daddy! love ya heaps! -

Sunday, April 09, 2006
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- my new 'La Armor' phone, specially from daddy dearest -

Monday, April 03, 2006
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