prologue

Name: Sajeetha
life is for living, need i say more?

*loves:
the family, him, them; my friends
anything arty farty, the literary arts, theatre
dolphins
travelling, always unfolding something new
dining in places with ambience to kill for (it's a hobby.hah)
r etail therapy
all things indian
enlightening conversations
candles
angels, fairie,pixies, gnomes, smurfs(br>

*loathes:
the one who stabs u in ur back
death of dear ones
all that flies or has wings
the complications of all types of relationships
not knowing
those who try so hard to be me

red/purple crumpler bag
new urban male jersey
new birks
that oh-so-gorgeous watch from esprit
that beautiful converse bag
a white i-pod nano
that new dgital camera which screams buy-me!
the bikini from billabong
a new pair of funky spectacles
truckloads of best-selling novels
a whole new art materials collection
a new wallet that fits the enormous card collection of mine

nady,the sweetie pie
vicky, the blur sotong
charlotte,the doctor in the making
sivanes, the smart-ass cuzzin
LV, the gorgeous pearly
sarah, the clubbing chica
sujatha, the indian actress look alike
nadia ameera, the lost pri sch mate who was found
lynette, the sports fanatic
hemma, the evil twin
vanessa, popular for all the wrong reasons

express

 

Foto Decadent
 

July 2005[x] August 2005[x] September 2005[x] October 2005[x] November 2005[x] December 2005[x] February 2006[x] March 2006[x] April 2006[x] May 2006[x] June 2006[x] July 2006[x] August 2006[x] September 2006[x] October 2006[x] November 2006[x] December 2006[x] January 2007[x]

I was contemplating if I should actually publish this post, then I told myself -'What the hell? It's my blog and I'm entitled to write anything I want to and when I mean ANYTHING, I mean ANYTHING (but of course, not in anyway abusing the blog regulations)'!

The bond with the 'Agni Girls' has came to an end. Full-stop.Period.Nada.Zilch. It's so O-V-E-R! I would very much like to write in details as to what brought about the end to the once, very beautiful friendship but then again, some things are best kept personal. What pains me is the fact that I have been judged based on speculations and speculations alone, and not cold, concrete facts. And not being given the chance to explain, that hurts even more. Even an accused in the court is given a chance to explain himself before the judge decides on his verdict. But unfortunately, here in reality, people don't usually bother about fairness. WTF? I thought they were my friends but it's only now that I realise that we were just mere aquaintances or rather I was just a convenient aquaintance. From the recent happenings and really nasty MSN nicknames directed at me, I am totally convinced that the 'main culprit' of this mess meant more than I probably did, to the other two.

And telling me that I lied, that is total bull. I merely stated facts which were a necesity during the course of conversation with Karthik if we were to find the ultimate truth. When in the world did my mum call you repeatedly to talk on your behalf? And u were ignoring her calls? Oh come on, who comes up with shit like that? This is what YOUR trusted source told me, which of course was a splendid story spun by you. Now, won't that make you a remarkable liar too? No wonder you're in the media. Your exceptional acting skills have yet again helped you in the course of your life!

And if that wasn't enough, you turned my friends against me too! Wow, sympathy votes eh? By enacting the story before anyone could so that you'll be seen as the victim? How shallow can you be? So much for keeping things btw you and him when the entire world seem's to be engulfed in your PATHETIC love traingle! U tell me, how did Raj know then huh? You guys share some kind of telepathy? Wow, amazing bond u share there. I'm impressed!

I could go on and on and on and this entry will prob go a good 1000 words long but after days, the pain, hurt, hatred and frustrations aren't that bad anymore so it's gonna more subtle.

I wanted to help you because I knew just how painful it was to be in your situation cos I've been through that kinda emotional shit once and the amount of time it takes you to get back on your feet is probably one of the longest. I wanted to be there. I wanted to help you take your first step. I wanted to be a friend and console you. But now, I am disgusted with myself for even wanting to be there. You didn't deserve any of my sympathy at all. Ah-ah, not a single bit! Maybe you shouldn't even have gotten me involved in your mess the first time. Am I the one who called you early in the morn to talk just because you saw her letters and cards to him and was feeling terrible? Am I the one who called each time you find out new evidenced that he was into her? It was YOU wasn't it, who kept needing my listening ear and attention? It was YOU who said I would have an influence over her to ask her to keep her distance away from him. It was YOU, YOU, YOU! You bloody hell got me involved and just when it was convenient for you to turn the tables against me, you did. How your true colours show! Ingrate!

If you have so much to complain against me, I have an equal amount as well but like I mentioned earlier, I'm not as shallow as you. I would have gone around bitching about you if I was the old me, but I'm older and matured now. Not the impulsive Sajeetha I once was, so you be glad you're having it your way. We'll see just how long the ball lies in your court! For a start, for all the drama about keeping things between us, you could have shut your gap about the stuff we discussed but you simply couldn't. Now, doesn't that make you a scheming traitor? You see, I can call you alot of names given the circumstances but if I did, there ain't gonna be a difference between YOU and ME!

I am not bothered with my friendship coming to an end with you. That's prob the last thing on my mind. But the other 2, that hurts cos I just lost wonderful people due to your selfishness in wanting to get the whole world into you mess. I am pretty sure angelicscars is in your side cos it's very evident that her MSN nick is meant for me. As for the other one, I'm assuming she's on your side too. Well, THANK YOU. It couldn't have been possible without YOUR contributions.

Maybe the 4 of us might have a confrontation one of these days but if that day comes, I will not be joining them. There is no need for me to prove my innocence and anyway, the damage is done. You have already (mis)judged me w/o me even explaining. That pretty much goes to show just how much of confidence you have in me, so why bother now that the verdict has been given. I don't need friends like this. Not now, not ever.

Like Prabhuraj said, don't live for the evil world. If you know you're right, truth will come into light itself w/o you having to fight for it. So I'm gonna leave it this way.

Today, marks the end of my relationship with the 'Agni Girls'. Fond memories will remain.

Wednesday, March 29, 2006
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