prologue

Name: Sajeetha
life is for living, need i say more?

*loves:
the family, him, them; my friends
anything arty farty, the literary arts, theatre
dolphins
travelling, always unfolding something new
dining in places with ambience to kill for (it's a hobby.hah)
r etail therapy
all things indian
enlightening conversations
candles
angels, fairie,pixies, gnomes, smurfs(br>

*loathes:
the one who stabs u in ur back
death of dear ones
all that flies or has wings
the complications of all types of relationships
not knowing
those who try so hard to be me

red/purple crumpler bag
new urban male jersey
new birks
that oh-so-gorgeous watch from esprit
that beautiful converse bag
a white i-pod nano
that new dgital camera which screams buy-me!
the bikini from billabong
a new pair of funky spectacles
truckloads of best-selling novels
a whole new art materials collection
a new wallet that fits the enormous card collection of mine

nady,the sweetie pie
vicky, the blur sotong
charlotte,the doctor in the making
sivanes, the smart-ass cuzzin
LV, the gorgeous pearly
sarah, the clubbing chica
sujatha, the indian actress look alike
nadia ameera, the lost pri sch mate who was found
lynette, the sports fanatic
hemma, the evil twin
vanessa, popular for all the wrong reasons

express

 

Foto Decadent
 

July 2005[x] August 2005[x] September 2005[x] October 2005[x] November 2005[x] December 2005[x] February 2006[x] March 2006[x] April 2006[x] May 2006[x] June 2006[x] July 2006[x] August 2006[x] September 2006[x] October 2006[x] November 2006[x] December 2006[x] January 2007[x]

Even Hari Raya has gone by and yet I still haven't had time to update my blog in what, most perceive as - donkey years. What do you know? The usually not-that-busy-until-she's-got-no-time-to-blog Sajeetha was actually THAT busy the entire mth of October!

So much has happened in the past mth. Guna has finally entered NS (Oct 7). My new maid has been sent back to India, back to where she came from (Oct 19) cos we couldn't put up with her nonsense, Senthil & I were back to normal (or so I thought. Will elaborate on tt later), Guna popped THE question (OCt 20) from camp. Yes, he officially asked me to be his gf after all that months of desperately trying to hide his feelings. This, of course has in turn brought abt some awkwardness in our friendship cos he didn't quite get the answer he expected. In the midst of it all, exams started (Oct 25), and just when I thought everything wads going on fine, Senthil started withdrawing away from me, which left me so darn miserble. He spoke all this shit abt how we shld stop clinging on to one another else there was no way we were gonna let go. And yes, things btw us has changed drastically and I'm alone as I can ever be (Oct 28).

(Oct 30) Met Guna for the first time after that weird proposal and that was prolly the most formal outing I'd ever had with him. It's always wacky fun with him but tt day, the air was filled with silence for most of the time. Understanding the fact that there needed to be some explanation as to what I was REALLY feeling, I passed him a 5 pg letter which I was comtemplating on giving earlier. The end of it all, I told him that I needed more time to think abt it. Lots and lots of time.

Sigh... I dunno. It's like I need to know that Senthil will be alright if he knew I was gonna be dating someone new. It's like I need his support and blessings.. In the past, we used to talk abt how if things nvr worked out for the both of us, we'll become best friends and even be good friends with our new bf/gf and go on double dates. Hah, who wld have thought it'd come true. I just needed to know that he was gonna be ok abt it cos deep down, I am aware that he still loves me and there was no way I was gonna destroy his happiness to find mine. Who am I trying to kid? What's happiness w/o him?

It's so damn painful.. Still is, after all these months. Just one word from my dad, saying he'll give us a chance and I'll throw away everything to be with him... Sigh..

Guna... sheesh, I don't even know where to start from. He's different now. He's changed so very much; to someone I'd prolly fall madly in love with but just not now. He's been trying so hard and I can only be awed by the things he does to prove to me tt one day, he might be able to take Senthil's place. My question is - can anyone? Maybe. Just maybe. For now, noone seems to be able to fill in the emotional void he's left behind. Oh god, why do you keep doing this to me???

So much for my month of October. A hell lot of shit yeah? I think so too.

Friday, November 04, 2005
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