prologue

Name: Sajeetha
life is for living, need i say more?

*loves:
the family, him, them; my friends
anything arty farty, the literary arts, theatre
dolphins
travelling, always unfolding something new
dining in places with ambience to kill for (it's a hobby.hah)
r etail therapy
all things indian
enlightening conversations
candles
angels, fairie,pixies, gnomes, smurfs(br>

*loathes:
the one who stabs u in ur back
death of dear ones
all that flies or has wings
the complications of all types of relationships
not knowing
those who try so hard to be me

red/purple crumpler bag
new urban male jersey
new birks
that oh-so-gorgeous watch from esprit
that beautiful converse bag
a white i-pod nano
that new dgital camera which screams buy-me!
the bikini from billabong
a new pair of funky spectacles
truckloads of best-selling novels
a whole new art materials collection
a new wallet that fits the enormous card collection of mine

nady,the sweetie pie
vicky, the blur sotong
charlotte,the doctor in the making
sivanes, the smart-ass cuzzin
LV, the gorgeous pearly
sarah, the clubbing chica
sujatha, the indian actress look alike
nadia ameera, the lost pri sch mate who was found
lynette, the sports fanatic
hemma, the evil twin
vanessa, popular for all the wrong reasons

express

 

Foto Decadent
 

July 2005[x] August 2005[x] September 2005[x] October 2005[x] November 2005[x] December 2005[x] February 2006[x] March 2006[x] April 2006[x] May 2006[x] June 2006[x] July 2006[x] August 2006[x] September 2006[x] October 2006[x] November 2006[x] December 2006[x] January 2007[x]

Principles. What do they mean to you?
Are you obsessive over them or are you the type who tries to adhere to them the best you can and when you fail, you're totally alright with it and it doesn't bother you much?

I belong to the former. I'm obsessive abt the certain principles in my life. Especially of those which concerns the dignity and pride of a female; those which society uses as 'standards' to make judgements on a female - if she's "decent" or "indecent", "good" or "bad", "morally upright" or "loose". And sadly, most of the time, I too, expect pple to behave within the expected consensus and if they fail to do so, I deem them as "pathetic and wrong type of woman".

- I think attached pple shld not go out with friends of the opposite sex for a movie alone. If it's a grp, then I've got no qualms abt it.

- Places like the temple and hospital are only meant to visited with your bf/gf. Don't ask me why, I simply think it shld be the way.

- No one other than your gf/bf shld touch you in any way. No leaning on shoulders, whatever crap.

- No casual flirting with the opposite sex when u already have a bf/gf.

- If you jolly well are aware that a particualr guy/gal u're interested in already has a bf/gf, dun bother exclaming your feelings to him/her.

- If the guy/girl u like already has a gf/bf, don't ask him out alone if his/her gf/bf is not happy about it.

- If you're already attached, keep your hands and mouth to yourself and your girlfriend. Don't be too sociable with the opposite sex.

- Girls should behave themselves in clubs instead of throwing themselves over guys.

- Guys, if you're already attached and u know there's a gal who likes you, dun be an asshole and lead her on or dun be a bigger asshole and try and time the both of them.

And the list goes on....

These are only some of the things I've stated. There's a whole lot of non exhaustive principles I've got stored in my brains. You see, I'm very particular when it comes to things like these and the moment I witness such unacceptable (according to me) behaviour, it irks me to the core and without me realising, I'll take an instant dislike to the person. I can't help it, it's just me.

Senthil & I had our relationship based on the very same principles I mentioned above but now I'm the only one treading the waters while he's swam far, far away from me. He no longer abides by these principles. His whole "culture" has changed the moment he stepped into dancing. Something I can't seem to be able to cope with. The abundance of female friends flocking to him, the endless late night conversations and casual outings! It's exasperating, really! Here I was, left all alone to guard the principles which WE had built together and upon questioning he'd answer irritably " the world is changing and u gotta change too. Don't expect everyone to be like you!"

But I wasn't asking everyone to be like me. I was only asking him. I couldn't accept the changes in him and this only led to constant fights and arguments. So now, the very reasons you fell in love with me for are the same reasons you hate me for too. Hah, how much more ironical can life get? So now, you want me to be more accomodating to the changing society where everyone hugs everyone, everyone touches everyone, where Betty's ex bf is now sleeping with Betty's best friend and Sue is screwing her husband's brother huh?

Seriously, is it me or what? Is this what the world is becoming to? Am I normal or am I expecting the paranormal to happen? Do I change for the world or am I supposed to wait for the world to change for mel? Do I adamantly stick by my principles or do I just let them go?

Do you think a man/ woman can suddenly discard the principles he/she's built his/her entire life and adopt entirely different ones? I asked my dad and this is what he said to me.

People are courageous when they set principles to guide their lives. But sometimes, it takes even more courage to abandon those same principles. Ideas are just milestones along the road. Humanity progresses precisely because new ideals swep away those of the past. Of course, I don't mean we should make a remake of the past, of all that we learned on our school benches. That would be naive, childlike. Also to abandon one's lifestyle for another is natural. But man is a social animal. New ideas are only accepted if they respond to the evolution of the community, to the reality of people's lives. You have the right to smoke but not to burn you neighbours gas tank. You have the right to like oranges but not to pick them from someone else's garden.

He simply means, at the end of the day it's really up to you on whether you wanna continue living life they way u had carved it out to be or to drop all that you've built so far and had followed religiously to adopt a new life. Both takes courage but during that transition, you must be sure not to hurt anyone around you. Them and their feelings.

One thing that I've learned while typing this entry is that I'm going to remain just who I am. I'm going to keep following whatever I think it's right. To me, my principles make me morally upright and noone and nothing can make me change my lifestyle. I'm not gonna give up on what I strongly believe just because the entire world is doing so. Many wrong things don't make a right. I will be what I am.. cos I am who I am.

Nights you all.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005
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