{SUNSET JOURNEY}

prologue

Name: Sajeetha
life is for living, need i say more?

*loves:
the family, him, them; my friends
anything arty farty, the literary arts, theatre
dolphins
travelling, always unfolding something new
dining in places with ambience to kill for (it's a hobby.hah)
r etail therapy
all things indian
enlightening conversations
candles
angels, fairie,pixies, gnomes, smurfs(br>

*loathes:
the one who stabs u in ur back
death of dear ones
all that flies or has wings
the complications of all types of relationships
not knowing
those who try so hard to be me

wishlist

red/purple crumpler bag
new urban male jersey
new birks
that oh-so-gorgeous watch from esprit
that beautiful converse bag
a white i-pod nano
that new dgital camera which screams buy-me!
the bikini from billabong
a new pair of funky spectacles
truckloads of best-selling novels
a whole new art materials collection
a new wallet that fits the enormous card collection of mine

fellows

nady,the sweetie pie
vicky, the blur sotong
charlotte,the doctor in the making
sivanes, the smart-ass cuzzin
LV, the gorgeous pearly
sarah, the clubbing chica
sujatha, the indian actress look alike
nadia ameera, the lost pri sch mate who was found
lynette, the sports fanatic
hemma, the evil twin
vanessa, popular for all the wrong reasons

express

Foto Decadent

{bygone}

July 2005[x] August 2005[x] September 2005[x] October 2005[x] November 2005[x] December 2005[x] February 2006[x] March 2006[x] April 2006[x] May 2006[x] June 2006[x] July 2006[x] August 2006[x] September 2006[x] October 2006[x] November 2006[x] December 2006[x] January 2007[x]

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Loving Senthil is very different if I compared it with loving Guna. No, I'm not in love with him or anything, it's just something I was pondering abt after our conversation last night.

Good or bad I don't know. Different. That's what it'll be. With Senthil, the love has been full of nervous anticipation, endless wishing. The only constancy about the relationship was the jittery nervousness of never knowing when we'd see each other again, whether we'd get caught by my parents and whether we'd find a future we cld share happily.

No matter how much I reason out these logical explanantions, nothings ever gonna come out of it. My parents will nvr approve of my relationship, yet I hope.. keep hoping that some day, they might find it in their hearts to understand my feelings. I still go back to loving Senthil, the very same way I did, 5 years ago.

We are back to where we started but I know tt one day, I'll have let what we share go. And when that day comes, I might just die. Maybe I'll survive. I've got no idea but one thing I know - you never stop missing the person you lose. You just cope with it, work it into your life.

Wednesday, September 28, 2005
- - - - - - - - - -

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

I did promise to go into details about Anitha's birthday party but I really don't wanna make my blog sound like some advert company, advertising abt some event so I'd skip the part abt it. I'll just say tt it was a beautiful party put up by a wonderful family for a gorgeous birthday girl.

Senthil was there. You might have guessed by now that we're back to speaking terms. That's so me isn't it? Always succumbing o temptation. But I'd prefer to put it another way - I'm a victim of circumstances.

Hah!

Tuesday, September 27, 2005
- - - - - - - - - -

Monday, September 26, 2005

And you have the "I.N.S.E.P.A.R.A.B.L.E" - Punitha, Anitha & Sajeetha.

Monday, September 26, 2005
- - - - - - - - - -

So you have it, almost half of NP-ICS over at Anitha's party.

Monday, September 26, 2005
- - - - - - - - - -

Yes, how can a party pass by without a picture with Wicky-the-boy! Muahahaha!

Monday, September 26, 2005
- - - - - - - - - -

This one, I like - Bav, Uma, Ponvili and myself.

Monday, September 26, 2005
- - - - - - - - - -

Charlie's Angels or Women in Black - YOU decide. Hah!

Monday, September 26, 2005
- - - - - - - - - -

This woman, I missed like hell. Punitha and myself after all the fun at the party; the worn out makeup wld tell ya so, won't it? We had a blast!

Monday, September 26, 2005
- - - - - - - - - -

Sunday, September 25, 2005

Hah! The younger devil isn't at home, so I've got all the time in the world to start updating my oh-so-long abandoned blog *evil laughter*

So much has happened over the last few weeks, I don't even know where to start from. Some, I've lost memory of but I'll try my 2 cents worth still..

I'll start from Senthil. We haven't been talking for the past 2 week, 14 days to be exact. Why? Simply because he hid a very important fact from me, which I thought was crucial. I had every right to know and HE wasn't the one who told me abt it. It had to come from a friend of his and that led to a major disappointment which in turn resulted in a nasty verbal exchange, to the extent I decided to contemplate into entering a relationship with Guna just so tp spite him. In case u're wondering, I didn't *Sajeetha breathes a sigh of relief*

Yeah, I'm an impulsive asshole, for those who haven't already figured out. I realise that I react rashly and am almost always hasty, to a fault.

So now, what's the news that set me on fire? Ranjani, the freaking Missy-Elliot-Wannabe from his dance grp actually proposed to him!!! How infuriating?? And he never uttered a word abt it to me, simply because HE thought it wasn't important since he told her NO! Whatever! And well, what happened after that is too painful to pen, but let's just say it was over btw the both of us, then, 12th September, 2005. I made the decision. I need open trust in a relationship, I need open honesty abt everything. Anything less, please don't come looking for me. Really.

So much for Senthil. Let's get on down with the second most overwhelming emotion I had to deal with in the past 7 days. Guna dropped a bombshell - He's enlisting into the army on the 7th of October. His enlistment has been finalised. Great! Now I've lost 2 very important man in my life. God has a way with his things, doesn't he? Stomaching the fact is still quite hard. Now who's gonna calmly listen to my wails at the wee hours of the morning? Who's gonna irritate me, each day without fail? Now who's gonna be my 'already there' date for occasions when I can't find a real date? Coping is seriously gonna be difficult but I'm not left with too much of a choice, am I? The only good outcome of this whole enlistment? The both of us have cut down on our fights, tremendously. Have learnt to cherish the presence of one another much more and it's so funny when Guna has a conversation with me without 'jacking' me even for a second. I try hard not to giggle but I can't help it. I mean, we're used to irritating the shit outta each other and suddenly we're all so nice and courteous, ha, makes me really wanna laugh. I guess, u learn to cherish someone better when u realise that he/she will not be there for long or is gonna be temporarily absent from your life.

Tested and proven - Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Hee!

I've got a new maid. And she's been making life a hell for me but unfortunately, my friends find her cute! How sad is that?? Lynette, u know what? U can have her, really! For free! Really am not in the mood to deal with her now, so I shall save her story up for another day alright? Wait up for it!

Another issue to deal with was my very first assignment results. Major disappointment. It was NOT anywhere near my expectations and for a split second I lost all morale in striving to do better the next time ard because ever since I stepped into SIM, I'd been giving my all in everything I do but what I sowed wasn't at all what I reaped. The feeling sucks! I feel loserish and sometimes, it makes me wonder - am i even cut out for anything?? Sigh...

But looking on the bright side, I've earned 3 very, very nice new friends in SIM. Vala, Kala and Hema. Vala was already a friend I knew during poly days through another mutual friend of ours and both Kala and Hema, came together with the package. Befriend Vala and get 2 friends free. Haha. Vala is instigting me to join the SIM's ICS but I've got no intention of doing so. I've enough of such things, really. I'm glad to be a alumni member of NP-ICS's and that's good enough. Not forgetting my council commitments. I have promised Satheeish (the ICS president) that I will help them out in dire need though, since he's a childhood friend of mine. The price u have to pay for friendships *haha*

So yeah, that's what's been happening the past week in the Queen.of.Divine.Insanity's life. Nothing exciting, really. I shall blog again in awhile abt how Anitha's b'day party went last night but for now, this much of indulgence is enough. Nights gurlies! Muacks!

Sunday, September 25, 2005
- - - - - - - - - -

Friday, September 23, 2005

So I've been missing from the blogging scene. Yeah, you're right. The reason: My laptop crashed on me exactly a day before I moved into the new place, so I'm left with my sister's lappy to depend on, which almost always has to be begged for usage.

You see, my sister treats her laptop even above her life, so having her to lend it to me takes a whole lot of begging, pouting, bribery and finally, the last resort - temper. I intimidate her into lending it to me. I'm horrible I know but hey, it's not like I'm left with a lot of choice. What's worse, only one comp is allowed internet access in my place simply because Palanisamy is falling behind all that technology and has got no idea it's time to get wireless access in the house.

So there you have it; Sajeetha's reason and a very creditable one at that, for not being able to blog.

Friday, September 23, 2005
- - - - - - - - - -

Sunday, September 18, 2005

And now, the whole gurl thing.

Sunday, September 18, 2005
- - - - - - - - - -

Have I told you how much I love this woman? TTTTTTHHHHHHIIIIIIIIISSSSS much! Anitha darling and me!

Sunday, September 18, 2005
- - - - - - - - - -

Elmo's face took up 1/2 the space in the picture, but it's alright. I forgive her for that. Muahahaha.

Sunday, September 18, 2005
- - - - - - - - - -

Teebs and myself - How I yearn for that girl's figure..

Sunday, September 18, 2005
- - - - - - - - - -

And this boy too.. Amazing how we can meet one another for like a gazillion times and nvr take a single picture. Hah. Tonight was THE night - Prabhu and myself.

Sunday, September 18, 2005
- - - - - - - - - -

Finally a photo with Kicha, after 3 whole years. I've missed this boy so much. Poly days are the best after all.. *memories, memories*

Sunday, September 18, 2005
- - - - - - - - - -

The stoopid birthday boy and me. Sivaram is always full of his nonsense. See tt dumb face?

Sunday, September 18, 2005
- - - - - - - - - -

Our table, consisting of Krishna, Double M, Prabs, Anitha, Teebs, myself and Saras (Elmo).

Sunday, September 18, 2005
- - - - - - - - - -

Suresh, The.Birthday.Boy, Anitha and myself, just before leaving the party.

Sunday, September 18, 2005
- - - - - - - - - -

Here I am, sitting at the comfort of my new place as I blog. Yes, I'm finally situated at Lakeside and nothing feels the same anymore. Getting used to this place is gonna take a long, long time.. I miss Holland like anything and I'd give anything to get back there.

This is a part of my life where I learnt something new, or rather a certain saying was reinforced into the very thick membrane of my skull - All good things come to an end.

All I have are memories of the 17 years spent there and for as long as I live, it will remain so - B.E.A.U.T.I.F.U.L.

Another very important thing lost in my life. Sigh...

Anyway, I just got back hm from Sivaram's b'day party. There's nothing much to type abt it actually. Was a very normal b'day party and I sure had loads of fun. Will just post the pics up for you to see aight? Am really sleepy and really haven't gotten the mood to go into full-fledged blogging. Till I see ya guys again... Ta!

Sunday, September 18, 2005
- - - - - - - - - -

Sunday, September 11, 2005

"Is life any different now that you've turned 21?" asked a friend of mine, over coffee last night. That sentence set me thinking deep and hard. After a while, I told her that nothing much had changed except for the fact that I've learnt to think with my mind rather than with my heart these days..
She looked at me, amused, scrutinising every detail on my face to detect any tinge of insincerity in my answer and went back to savour her last bit of frappucino in silence. That gave me a min or two to reminicise the last 20 years of my life.

Saisajeetha Palanisamy. With a corporate world prominent father & socially connected mother, I had been handed a life full of imperial expectations. The offsprings of Palanisamy must maintain a respectable image. I'd practically learnt that from the crib and from the day I'd become a teenager, my life had been packed with dad's formal parties and picnics. I'd learn to float through difficult situations w/o even thinking, like a young swimmer who'd learnt complicated strokes by watching her parents cut through the water for years.

When I finally turned 21, less than a month ago, my mother had bred me to understand the expected protocols of the debuntante ritual - what to wear, what to say, how to act like their daughter...

For what, for whom, I haven't gotten the slightest idea but something tells me they're simply preparing me to give me away to some man they think will deserve their precious daughter. Sounds scary cos I've never felt so threathened about life till this very second. Now that I'm 21, everything looks and feel so much more real. The whole world seems to be breaking free around me and I want to break free too. To find a little wildness inside me before it is too late and I'd become trapped in a life of polite routiness..

I ponder too much abt my life and where it's heading don't I? 21years and I haven't changed a single bit. Sad...